Squeaks Aplenty

So ends CNY'12

2012-02-04T23:09:00.003+08:00

Cutest kid moment today: Wah that's a huge wallet! (While staring at what actually is my clutch)

HAHA, love kids.

This year's CNY has truly been a blast as compared to the past few years. Ever since my grandparents died, there really hasn't been much of a lunar feel around CNY anymore. Lost the tradition I guess, more meet-ups with the extended family rather that formal visiting 1st thing in the morning at grandparents'. It's not a bad thing though, in fact I love that we have so much more casual bonding time together. Just, missed the real essence of CNY.

But this year proved to be really different cos I went around visiting with my other friends to their place or teachers' place. Went to Spencer's place to 拜年 too, so I guess that's a milestone. All of those moments were formal visits, plus much more fun! I loved it to be honest. And more steamboats too! HEHE. Wondering if I gained weight, but I don't really wna try my luck at the scale. Assume I didn't alright.

Did what I would presume our last visiting for this year's CNY. Went to my grandaunt's and the old couple's always nice :) Makes me wonder sometimes if grandma was so nice to be around. Well, the only thing I thought I remembered about her was pouring powder on her stomach. After doing psychology, I realised that knowledge probably didn't even come from my own memory, but because my mum always used to talk about it.

&there was cute Kai Xuan around today too! She's grown so much since I last saw her and my other aunt's wedding.While the adults were pondering about how the little girl should address my mum, I realised she's my cousin. 17 years of difference oh god. I sure am old :/ HEH. Had fun playing with her together with my sis nonetheless! Ended the day with happy dinner at Bakerzin with sis and mum.

Sorry this has to be short and sweet, gta do some research for projects in school. I know I promised a Cambodia post. It's in the draft huns. Don't wna bomb y'all with photos so I gta do some selection. Wait for it :)

Thanks for your patience with me over the years everyone, whoever still comes to check this space out. XOXO

Sincerely,

Sharm

Angst of angsts.

2011-12-16T15:26:00.005+08:00

你很委屈hor?

What about me? All the times I talk and you don't listen. All the times you fail to support my community service passion.

I think all my friends who follow my blog through the years know how many times this saga happens. Too many. I'm tired of trying alrd, I'm just gonna stop you from being able to annoy me this way. I don't know why you have to do this within the first hour I get home. Why am I even back?

Well I just came back from a 5-day trip to Cambodia friends. Had great fun, great accomplishments, made new friends. Lots of insights and thoughts to share, but in awhile kay. Gotta unpack and settle this stupid saga. I don't know if you can gather what the saga is about la, but same thing about people (usually the same person) touching my things and packing them. Out of goodwill, that I'm certain, but I really just don't need it and HATE IT. Honestly. But she never gets it, whether I tell her peacefully at random or angstily when I can't find my things. It's not like this is the first time and I'm being unreasonable for feeling so upset now. And this time she conjured this ridiculous link to 'insult' (I feel, for the lack of a better word) my passion for community work. That's it man. My max. You don't listen to me, don't understand me, don't respect me, then distort my contributions. Who should be hurt?

There are a lot of thing I learnt to appreciate after this trip. But before I could tell you any, you dealt me something I can never be appreciative of. Through the 5 days in a run down messy dirty environment, though things were far from neat, at least we knew where they all were. That is what I need. Messy organisation is still organisation. That you disagree, but I thought at least you could accept and respect. Apparently you will never. So I give up trying. It's not helping that you link this most disturbingly to how I supposedly treat outsiders better than family. Why are you even comparing yourself to those without families, limbs, enough food for a day, money for school or even roofs over their heads??? TOTALLY DIFFERENT WHAT. The way people show concern for different groups of people are different, 怎能相提并论??? Compare? I also know how: An uncle who can't spell/pronounce my name after 19 years v.s. Cambodian volunteers who commit my name to memory on day 1 we meet? Compare some more, seriously.

Blog soon guys, I promise. Just not now. Worst of moods.

[edit:

Y'knw how this can get more ridiculous? I washed my own bags and clothes from the trip and added in some clothes from dirty laundry at home. She went in wanting to hang them up and seeing my uncle's pants in the machine, came questioning me, and informing me that I shouldn't wash our clothes and his together lest we mix it up. Seriously? I only put in his jeans, and there were no other jeans in there. BESIDES, the size so different, and we cannot recognise our own clothings meh? Whatever I do you also have things to say, never satisfied what. It's never enough.

And because she was screaming in her room last night yakking on and on probably about how disrespectful I was for being so unappreciative and raising my voice, my dad thinks I'm the lousy daughter with bad attitude too. Okay, whatever. Where is the love. Nobody cares if you've had a tired week, nobody cares if you're having a rough time fighting fatigue, a cold and unpacking. Nobody cares to hear your side of the story, so don't ask from now how the trip was.

I won't say "this can't get worse" this time. Because you guys always catch me by surprise.]

I don't tolerate shit.

2011-12-04T20:29:00.002+08:00

If you're ever expecting me to give you face, I tell you now:

NEVER.

It is NEVER going to happen no matter who you are.

If you're wrong, you're wrong. If you wna air your dirty laundry in public then even better, I'll just continue from there.

I am easy going but if you ever cross the line, that's it. Don't expect me to tolerate nonsense.

I've said this before and that has not changed.

The best thing thus far

2011-11-25T14:25:00.004+08:00

I don't know how, but if I have half the time to study ALL on Intro to Psych as I have for Communication Across Cultural Contexts, I just feel more at ease studying.

Like it's not important if I can't cover all eventually, I'll just go in chill and whack.

I think I picked the right major ;)

At least for now I feel so, at least, hehe

[edit]

OKAYYYY, my phone decided to pull a prank on me, smth went wrong with the internal memory. Wiped out all my messages (saved internally) but my pictures and contacts etc still there leh. WHAYYYYY!

Not anything major but I'm honestly terribly disturbed, cos I can't access the memory storage details, internal or external memory. So something must be wrong with the system alrd right, not like I accidentally wiped my messages out!

Extremely angsty and unsettled, could have completed my Intro to Psych today one lor >(

Not very happy day after all :(

[/edit]

One of those days you look back in time and...

2011-11-15T17:17:00.000+08:00

This isn't my first time mugging at Queenstown library after the secondary school years, but mugging here alone today somehow brought back memories of how I used to mug with the same company: Toh, Swee, Mel. We've only been here together once, but today, here, it's all coming back.

We were in Yr3 back then, pinafore and loose hanging white shorts (forever right boys hahah). We had lunch at the nearby coffeeshop (I think, hope my memory hasn't failed me!) after school, after which we trotted over admidst crap and laughter despite the hot sun. We found a spot around this round cushiony thing near the Quiet Reading Room and started doing our own revision, but undoubtedly, sidetracked soon after. hahahaha! As with all the study sessions we had, mostly at JE regional lib! We can do anything man, crap, draw, scribble. I remember teaching Swee a physics qn once on moments and after he got it right, everyone somehow dropped our studying and started sneaking photos of each other LOL

That was roughly 4 years ago man, how time flies. So much have changed since then, everyone doing different things, have new friends, lives, etc. Extending the same thoughts to all my friends, some drift apart, some grow closer, some completely disappear from your life, some reappeared, all sorts!

What about in another 4 years? We'll see! ;)

Yes, this is my mini break from those scary notes :B

Back to mugging, XOXO!

Hungry Mangry thoughts

2011-10-20T19:01:00.003+08:00

You know the feeling when you ask questions or share a thought in hopes of gaining reassurance, but whatever you get is not at all comforting?

Haha yes, it sucks.

But I'm in a good mood, and I shall believe in the little assurance I have sieved out from you :)

But more often these days, I'm wondering:
HOW COME OTHER PEOPLE LEAD SUCH HAPPENING LIVES???

hurhurhur. Whaaaaat am I doing. :[

Okay don't think about all those who have talents and very strong interest/passion. I mean, you need skills and GUTS to take the leap of faith. I probably have no skills to talk about so, what leap of faith right. ;( These cool people aside, the rest are always go out. Always updating their FB page with pictures etc. I'M JEALOUS :( Lala okay la true that I don't post every nitty gritty up online BUT STILL...... I know that even if I did, it wouldn't be half as exciting.

AND I just chanced upon this blog shop and stared hard at one of the models. She's only 155cm tall and most importantly, she looks really familiar. Guess what? She's that ahlian next-door schoolmate back in Primary school!!! NO! The point does not lie in how come she got a chance to model for blogshop. THE thing is, it is HER blogshop!!!!! OHMYHOLY. and it looks rather established hmm.

What am I doing with my life again???

hahah. okay la enough of my musings. I'm just studying harder now for bigger things in life in future. You wait and see ahhhh. hahah *delusional*

Meanwhile, I'll try to make my life more interesting, SWEAR!!!

I know this post of mine sounds extremely shallow and random, not linguistically accurate, but you know I just wanna rant right! So pardon me!

Moving on in life

2011-09-13T11:31:00.002+08:00

Many things change as we grow older. People come and go, some stay even when apart, some just fade away. Some leave for a long time, but come back into your life unexpectedly. Nobody knows for sure what would happen tomorrow, much less years from now.

Do you have people or things that you want to hold onto so dearly, tightly, even selfishly? I sure do. But not everything goes your way in life. People grow up, change, have dreams. Perhaps in a couple of years, my own dreams and aspiration might change. Unsurprisingly, the change could possibly stem from my own need to cling onto what I really don't want to lose.

If only we all had no emotional baggages. Then we could make decisions ever freely. Life would be so much easier, wouldn't it?

Nah, I wouldn't trade feeling humane for unlimited freedom. Your choices shape your life, build your future. Whatever happens in between, whoever leaves, whatever's lost, however undesirable it might feel at that point in time, it's all but a passing phase. You hurt for a week, fight for a month, feel sad for a year, regret a decade, but these feelings all fade away eventually. Because the most important people and things withstand the test of time; the best feelings and options last a lifetime.

Extremely tired

2011-09-01T21:00:00.008+08:00

When you have to make a conscious consistent effort just to smile, you know you're really not well.

&nobody should ever promise anything if they're not sure that they can achieve it. Perhaps a few failures due to unexpected events is fine. But if you ever broke those promises (no matter how minute they may be) because you forgot/didn't think much of it/have other plans/various unacceptable reasons , when valid and unpredicted events occur, it makes the other person feel worse. Because he/she can't blame you, yet is too unhappy having been let down far too many times.

y'know what?

I'm really not okay.

Fulfilling My Obligation

2011-08-26T00:57:00.004+08:00

I. Am. Supposed. To. Update. This. Space. :(

Haha. Alright life's been fine really. Apart from the fact that:

1. Uni life doesn't seem as "bedful" of roses as other people make it sound

2. I've been dragging my feet on reading up the chapters of the ultra thick textbooks we've to devour

3. Reason for pt.2 being it takes wayyyy too much effort to comprehend a little chunk of text. I can read it 10 times over yet don't understand, or lose my train of thought along the way.

4. I'm intimidated by how I try to clear my RP credits in as little time as possible but slogging my guts out (being a research participant sounds chill enough but well, picking out the relevant ones that I can make it for are taking a toll on my mental well-being), it's just gna be 5% of my HP1000 GPA.

5 (MAJOR and connects to the succeeding points). I'm feeling gravely stressed for no apparent reason. I mean yes I'm uptight cos uni life and planning my academics myself is a concept so foreign. There's considerations for CCA as well, there are projects, etcetcetc - there are lots to juggle, but it's only Sem 1 and it's supposed to be easy for us all! Yet here I am almost pulling my hair out every day X.X I think I need a psychiatrist.

6. The irrational stress is raiding me of sleep, that in turns puts me in an angstier mood and lowered concentration level. &I'm obviously less clear-headed.

7. Spencer Lee is at Taiwan for the last few days of his training. Well last 3 days are R&R, and it really isn't a lot. But like Lynette Lai the dearest pig cousin said, he's not here and I can't rant, it's all just gonna build up :( I know there are lots of other people I can rant too, but you know we don't get satisfied by ranting to just one person, much less missing out on one important person right? Though I keep most of the trivial bad days from him and seek sufficient comfort (even bliss) in his company, this this a major bad extended period of time, and it's just so hard to get through :(

So..... I'm really not so fine after all huh? heh

But I must admit I've found new joy in life attending uni (amidst all the academia torture), new friends, new experiences, and certainly do enjoy every second when these people and things drive those blues away :)

For now, it's 1.18am.

I need to rest but I need to catch up on work. And it's not just tonight, but the weekends and everyday following that.

HOW? :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Letting go

2011-07-25T22:15:00.004+08:00

Cheng En and Kai Yang at the Clementi centre taught me something new today:
Easy Peasy Lemon Squasy

HAHAHAHA, so this is what kids say these days, as compared to our Yellow Yellow Dirty Fellow! Terribly sick today with the worst cold in awhile, but their silliness really brings a smile and makes teaching a lot easier.
&Kai Yang's ignorant kid question of the day was: How come the other teacher always change? Why you never change? LOL! I told him: the other teachers have something on sometimes so cannot make it lor. Why?? You want me changed too?! -sad face-
Then he gave a cheeky grin and said NO, I don't want to change!, ahahahahaha. Cutie pies...... Despite the kids pissing me off sometimes, I really can't bear to stop teaching any one of the sessions. But I'll definitely have to drop some classes by the time school starts so well, time to pray for a good timetable, weigh my priorities and make choices again :]

No one does it like you do

2011-07-22T00:29:00.007+08:00

Because you see what others don't see;
You hear what others don't hear;
Therefore you feel what others don't feel.
&When the feeling's mutual, it's love.

You always see something in me that I've never seen,
And find amusement in the least significant things I do or say.

It's amazing how special you can be to someone,
&I thank you for always making me feel so exceptional baby.

I know you know it's not a one way thing ;)

I'm only saying this ONCE

2011-07-17T22:11:00.007+08:00

The best argument I have for why people always spend more time with friends as compared to family is as follows:

Family is one group of people. Even if it's the most important one to anyone alive, it is, still, ONE group of people.
Friends are also a group of people, but everyone has different groups of friends. Some old primary school friends, some secondary school friends, some colleagues, some best friends, boy/girlfriend, some whom you meet once in a blue moon. By then it'll make up many groups.

When we go out with anyone, you don't mix 2 unfamiliar groups together. Just as you don't organise old primary schl get-togethers with a family dinner, you don't put 2 random groups of friends together to hang out with. So in the last stretch of the holidays, it's natural the teens would wanna hang out with all their groups of friends before hectic school starts again. So what's so wrong about spending my days out, some of which were to work???

Makes perfect sense, RIGHT? SO I absolutely hate it when parents bring up issues of their children spending more time with friends than the family. Come on. I come home every night but even then, it's not like we're all gna be available to sit down even for dinner together right? Don't talk about the children caught up with games or school or whatever, daddy won't even be home before 11pm. So there, weekday family get-togethers PHAIL.

On weekends, I'll always reserve a day for family day, and when there's the usual extended family dinner I'll reserve the date for the Lais. Nobody takes it away, not even Spencer. So how does that fail to show that I value family the most? Even then, it doesn't mean you only tell me your plans the night before and expect me to be free, nor any of your children who've grown past the stay-home-all-day age by now. Worse still if you expect me to cancel all plans to go along to yours. Plans are plans. How is your last minute announcement justified to denounce those carefully made plans since weeks or even months ago??? Just cos we're family? NO. Once or twice/once in a blue moon in fine, but this has been for far too many times for our comfort. If not for today being mei's birthday celebration, there is no way I'll keep mum about you pretending I didn't tell you about my scheduled BBQ with classmates I haven't meet since prom. Thinking back about it it still pisses me off real bad. &I'm really sorry I couldn't join the nuggets at WCP today :/

To all parents out there:
You don't assume we care more about friends or whoever else other than family just because we seem to always be out. You'll never know how many times we turn down things we'll really love to go for or reschedule them because of plans with the family, neither would you know how blessed you are with kids that even shelf time for you cos some out there really don't give a damn.

I am here speaking from experience, and that of my closer friends'.
So if you're a parent reading this and begs to differ cos you've an ultra rebellious brat at home, I'm so sorry, wait for him/her to grow up or educate the kid yea. When they deserve it, it's not a problem. If otherwise, DON'T. kick up a big fuss and make your child feel like he/she has been unappreciated.

It annoys us. Really. &I don't believe you don't remember the times you felt the same when you were young yourselves.

We know where you're coming from. But you gotta check out what else you've missed too.

Beyond our juvenile sight...

2011-07-13T14:57:00.005+08:00

I chanced upon an old classmate's blog today, and am truly surprised at how deep his thoughts actually run. For one I've never known him well enough to even know what he thinks of on a daily basis. But from the usual actions and words he utter, I definitely didn't think he could possibly act the way his writing portrays him to be.

I'm proud of you friend, and all other friends, who have grown up through the toughest times, stuck in the toughest situations and same old school. We all had our grievances and woes about this school that forcefully kept us all within its walls, with people squirming through fences (hehe!) and challenging rules. But at the end of the day, we all believe, then and now, it is the only school which could bring us up the right way, down the right path, into who we are today. If you refused to subscribe to this ideology, it is time you do now; because as I look out of this world past the protective arms of our school today, I see much more vices and misbehaviour than I had ever imagined. And I'm thankful I was brought up the way I am.

Even more gratifying is the great friends I've made through the six years. Boring 6 years we used to say, passing by the same faces day in and day out. But it is the 6 years we had which allowed us time to test the strength of our friendships, determining who stays and who doesn't, which puzzle pieces fit and which don't. Beyond those 6 years, the future ahead of us will only test us all further. So true friends, celebrate the connections you've built and hold them dear; never let go. I look forward to seeing the same buddies stay chummy, guys and girls, 10 years down the road. Let that be the time we sit down and talk about THOSE WERE THE DAYS ;)

To all who've made my 6 years worthwhile in RV, I LOVE YOU! xoxo~

Anormaly

2011-07-08T20:32:00.002+08:00

BACK FROM PSYCH CAMP WHEEEEE!

Not regretting the decision, made some real cool friends from in there, just pretty tired to say much about it right now. Anomaly 1 is thus the many naps I've been taking/dying to take. I usually hate taking naps, it feels like time wasted and I wake up feeling like stabbing myself.

Another thing common of camps is the loss of voice (whole or part thereof). So I went back to teaching with Yun Rou today, both with hoarse tired voices, and an unusually crowded class, made up of the greatest "variety" of kids: attention seeking, hyperactive, unresponsive, clingy and the mid ranges. I swear I could puke blood trying to fight their voices alone, much less teach. Angus in particular got on my nerves, despite my desperate tries to get him to listen by babysitting (close to) him. Today's one of the days I wished I could choose the personality of my future kids. Yes yes, I wish -.- That's anomaly 2.

Nothing exciting happened for the day considering I was too tired to do much. Maybe the visit to the Jurong Medical Centre in the morning? I'm secretly glad the doc says the infection's gotten much better, cos that meant my stubborn donning of contacts to the right eye on camp day 1 hadn't done much harm to it :B But she reminded me bout the lashes scarring the cornea, so they're thinking of doing something to help that. Whatever it is, it had better not be removing them. GAH

So that's it for now! Perhaps anomaly 3 could be completely random: I'm not sunburnt AT ALL from camp :D hahaha. Will be back soon to update the previous post!

Love you guys who are still following this space! XOXO

The special things we do

2011-06-18T23:27:00.003+08:00

Just back from watching a play with the boy; I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change !
I LOVED IT, no regrets splashing the money wheeeee!

Lots to update, about many things that have been happening. Will come round to it.

To my Best Girls:

2011-05-30T00:31:00.002+08:00

Regardless,

I'VE HAD A GREAT DAY WITH YOU TWO, AND I LOVE Y'ALL

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINYEE ♥
hope you enjoyed your little belated birthday celebration.

Monologue only.

2011-05-29T23:58:00.003+08:00

Apart from the inner struggles I have with myself that I've never voiced out, or the occasional times I rant up here about all the uni applications, friends and families, even acquaintances and strangers, have been giving their two-cents worth about it, and that I truly appreciate.

When I finally decide I've come to a conclusive decision, I go to my mum and tell her all about it (not that we've never discussed this before, she even went to FASS Open House with me), I asked her what daddy's opinion was. I know the both of them will respect my choices cos I'm the one doing the studying eventually, but it's still mandatory I let them have a hand in this decision making, whether it is to push me ahead or pull me back for reconsideration.

While out with the best girls today, mummy texted to say that dad's still for FASS given the recognition and establishment it has. (&I quote: bet you feel like pulling your hair off now) ROFL. Funny at that point in time, slightly true, but I understood daddy had a point. So I said I'll come back to discuss one last time with them, dishing out my points and hopefully listen to what they have to say. In the end, in my most shagged mood they made me do a monologue. You've no idea how disappointed I was.

I expected more feedback and a stronger stance coming from dad, cos he was the one who claims to prefer NUS. BUT, I didn't see his effort at making me rethink my choice at all. I told them about my concern as to how my future would pave out should I not get into the major of my choice at all at NUS, or not be offered Honours. IMO it's actually much worse than if I got into NTU, which every practical thinker/adult in the family has been advising against, where I am guaranteed a spot in my Major of interest and and definitely have an attempt at Honours. Through it all, daddy was back-facing me staring into his com. Why then confuse me by offering an alternative opinion if you're not going to contest mine? I genuinely wanted to hear him out and might even go along with them if they could convince me on how "brand" works wonders in the real world. But they didn't. They instead said they've both never been to uni so it's up to me eventually, as long as I've thought my path out clearly. I love it that they give me the freedom to decide my own future. But if they raised a second opinion I think it's only right we contest the 2 choices well before you say you'll leave me to decide.

I've gone ahead to accept NTU finally. I'm gonna study damn hard to prove all the elitist brand-conscious adults out there (well actually they're just practical thinkers la, but now I'm feeling angsty so I'm making them sound damn bad) that it doesn't matter where I go if I work hard. I can be the cream of the crop at NTU and be better than any ol' who accepts NUS shallowly on the basis of prestige. Guys, prestige of the school isn't everything. You give your own name prestige, wherever you might go.

I don't dream to top the faculty or whatsoever, "cream of the crop" was just an exaggeration to get my point across. But I'll do my own choice justice and top my own capabilities. WATCH ME!

Though angsty at this point, I'll make y'all proud daddy mummy, I'll show y'all your trust in me is not misplaced (: Just don't use those confusing antics on me in future ya?

/&I'm not saying everyone who accepts NUS is shallow. Neither do I condemn those who take its prestige as a consideration for choosing it, given that they also have other reasons for the choice (e.g. prog. more suitable for self/offers you opportunities other schls don't). I do understand many people are like that. I'm just saying you haven't given your choice careful thought if you went for NUS only because it's more recognised. Sorry but I honestly think you are shallow.

Growing Up and Making Decisions

2011-05-21T22:54:00.002+08:00

I've spent the bulk of today most productively in a looooong while, thinking about my own life and future. Not that I ain't productive at work or what else, it's just that I haven't been putting as much thought as I should into my future direction. It's true I've thought long and hard about my uni choices and all, but ever since I submitted all the relevant applications and documents I've long thrown the worry out. I hardly remembered that I was waiting for replies from schools until people asked about it or updated me about their progress. But once they've reverted to me, both NTU and NUS, I've been trying to empty my mind of my "prejudice against NUS",
pro-NTU" or whatsoever attitudes, so that I'll be very sure at the end of this I've made the right choice and there'll be no regrets. Because I thought it through real hard and it'ld be nothing but THE choice for me.

So today I went down to NUS FASS Open House with mummy to take a look. I guess the scale of the open house was quite a disappointment, not forgetting it didn't look well put up nor went through much planning or preparation. IMO la, I believe they did put in effort to different extents [: So the thing is, I still find myself less interested in NUS despite visiting their Psychology booth and finding out more about their syllabus etc. I asked a student "so what do you think is your edge over NTU Psychology?" She told me a few things, most expectedly of all:
1. We're more established than NTU, we're the first/longest running Psych. programme in Singapore......
2. We're ranked 2nd (I forgot internationally or in Asia, I think the latter?), 1st being Tokyo..... (AH WAIT, SHE DIDN'T STOP HERE) Whereas NTU is like, top 100. (still must put them down first LOL)
3. If you're still unsure if Psych. is your thing then at FASS you actually have the luxury to try out and choose your majors later, so you can change your mind anytime before you do!

Well I've thought about point 3 as an obvious advantage FASS has over what NTU has offered me, but I'm actually pretty sure Psychology is what I wna do. Disregarding the possibility that I might not do well at it at all, there's no doubt I've strong interest in it (:
I actually don't buy their ranking claims cos when I asked her further as to what this rank was based on, whether results or the coursework/syllabus, she told me "in general" -.- How is that convincing ??? In any case I do recognise that NUS is generally ranked higher and thus more sought after than any other local uni, but I don't think that that should stand alone as a selling point. It's like if your teacher asks "why should I choose you and not X for the Model Student of the Year award?", and you say "cos I'm better!". "How are you better then?" "Just overall lor" -.- You think? Substantial answer? Convincing? Mummy laughed real hard when I gave her the "yea right, sure" look when I recounted to her the girl's response about rankings when asked about their edge over NTU. BUT I KNOW SHE AGREES WITH ME :D
And point one about them being more established.... I guess if being longest running means more established then, Yes.... But not too strong a claim. Until I listened to a Prof's talk about Psych at the LT, and he claims the NUS Psych prog. has been visited and certified comparable to internationally acclaimed Psych. programmes, then I thought, okay, now THIS I believe, makes you established. BUT! That in no way means NTU's isn't, cos I don't think any uni course of a local university should get away failing international standards! After all, Yun Rou has told me there've been claims about NTU Psych. being (the most? not so sure if this is the exact claim) established too, so for this point, I'll choose to put them on par.

&from my own observation, the list of electives that the student has showed me seriously pales in comparison to NTU's. Despite them claiming to have the most variety etc (BULLSHIT HOR this one I've eyes to see I've damn sure), you actually only just get to choose 3 electives anyway (no matter how VARIOUSrofl their options). Whereas in NTU's case I choose from a plethora of further broken down electives, and can choose clearly more. Perhaps they'ld not cover as much depth as NUS' would? But why would I want to cover so much depth in smth I lack interest in, right?? HEH So for that, NTU ftw!
Thus FINALLY, the only reason I'll pick NUS eventually would likely be cos I'm afraid I might actually flunk even the foundation of Psych. to continue my course of study? ):

I know whenever I talk bout uni, my opinions are largely skewed towards NTU, but that's what I stand for so it's just my personal take debating to myself about my education path! You can of couse beg to differ, or even provide me another valid perspective so that I could reconsider. However if you're downright displeased with my take then don't come back till after June, save yourself from the torture ;)

Right so besides studies I've been spending another half of the day planning/thinking bout my future finances. How the TFL works, how I should allocate my allowance in future, transportation concession or not, fixed deposit? Another bank acc? How will my work with the tuition centre work out? ETC! Wow never knew there was so much to the dollar sign! And then she once again laughed at me when I scrutinised the various deposit accounts of different banks with much care, noting the miserable interest rates. AND EVEN THE FIXED DEPOSITS. Mummy optimistically told me Fixed Deposits pay a lot more interest (like 2%?), then when I happily went checking, NO LOR, max is 0.6%, even when I'm saving up to a MILLION dollars with them -.- Sad ttm only, broke her happy dreams too HAHAHA

Guess I've done enough thinking for the day, will wake up tomorrow more savvy and matured! Till next time! Make the right choice buddies! - whoever's still reading ;)

XOXO!

You never listen

2011-04-16T22:37:00.007+08:00

YOU HAVE NO REASON TO SHUFFLE MY THINGS WHEN I'VE JUST PACKED THEM UP NICELY, WHETHER IT LOOKS OLD, DIRTY, IS OVERDUE, OUTDATED OR WHATSOEVER. THERE WAS NO MESS, AND I'VE CLEARLY LEFT ONLY WHAT I WISH TO KEEP.

AND THAT BEING SAID YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO THROW ANYTHING AWAY AT ALL COS IT'S EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOU ARE. THOSE ARE MY THINGS AND YOU DO. NOT. MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS ON HOW TO HANDLE THEM WITHOUT MY CONSENT! BEST OF ALL YOU THINK IT'S COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED. PLEASE.

Once again we've been through this only too many times. Since we were young, from when we were kids and had no say over our own belongings, to when we grew up and are annoyingly messy, till now when we know what to stash away, what to throw away and what means most to us, even for daddy. Mum, I've said this only too many times and I. AM. DAMN. SICK. OF. IT.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SOME THINGS MEAN TO ME? EVEN IF IT MIGHT JUST BE JUNK IN YOUR EYES? How would you feel if I threw away a note dad wrote for you on your 1st anniversary thinking it's just some lousy piece of note paper. HOW???

I'M DARN SICK OF THIS REALLY. I have every bit of repect and love for you as a parent but this???? You know how much I felt like inserting the F word in the most angsty lines of this post? But cos you taught me we should never resort to vulgarities I've grown up using very little of any form of them. What about you? Did you watch me grow up listening to what I say??? Now this further proves the point I've brought forth in my 1st post of the day.

I'm only too jaded at the end of this day.

Love comes around~

2011-04-16T19:26:00.003+08:00

It feels great when your younger siblings grow up and start to care more about you. The slightest talks, teases and gestures make me feel loved ;)
Though we still get on each others' nerves sometimes, I love you two bro and sis (:

While I was gone...

2011-04-16T13:56:00.004+08:00

I know I know, I've been cyberly inactive for far too long. I've not been coming to the computer ever since I've been done with uni applications, cos there really isn't a need to, nor anything attractive out here. Situation made worse with the longest eye infection I've ever had, with a somewhat blurred eyesight up till now, a brother sitting around the study room all day surfing around Sudden Attack, Counterstrike, L4D, and Facebook -.- Yesyes, what happened to the word study right. &mum's been needing my laptop to do her powerpoints, so I rly can't use it much. I'm losing touch with cyber world! I didn't even use it much on the day I took leave from work to clear the massive mess I've made out of the study room and get some rest. Horrible, how am I supposed to regain the momentum??

So Spencer's just had his block leave which is ending soon, which will then see him going to SCS :D Really happy for him, going somewhere he's been wanting to. We've been out a few days of the week doing the most spontaneous things ever, like fish spa and prawning HAHA. And watching a movie, something I haven't done in the longgggggest time. We've also been at our silliest this week, but it's probably worth a good laugh anw, cos he's gna get busy in SCS :X So, mixed feelings about it, but I'm sure he's a tough man and will do himself and everyone else who cares proud ;)

Boyfriend aside I'm also happy for one of the closest girlfriends I have, for finally getting her hands on a man! HAHAHA, nooooo la, that sounds totally crude :B but he's likely a good nice man so enjoy your happiness ahead baby! I wna see him soon k, will drop a surprise visit anytime soon, and I hope I won't miss you like I always do this time!

Well in the blink of an eye we're into mid-April already. I met Vincent last week on the bus home and chatted a little about school and all, and it dawned upon me that my friends in RV are really slowly (NOT REALLY RIGHT?!) creeping towards their As! I can't help but be reminded of the horrible times. Sometimes I see Sinyee struggling like mad, be it with catching up on new lessons or clearing her backlog, I really have no idea how else to help her other than solve some of her questions at times or keep telling her that she can. Cos I know so well myself that "you can do it", "keep trying", "ask in doubt" and all of those things don't always work. At some point in time you'ld feel only too worn out from trying and trying and trying amidst all the other commitments to believe you can go any further. I've been through that shit once too well to know that such comments/encouragements mostly make you go "URGH" or "Not again!", + *rolls eyeballs*; but I'll keep trying nonetheless. No matter, I hope that they'll all be stronger than I was back then and push on hard. It's gonna be an uphill mountain, but we all know it's all gna be worth it ;)

Due to my horrible lack of updates I'm also sure that some have no idea I took up part-time teaching too at Montessori International thanks to YunRou's lobang (: I've really got to say the short sessions at the end of each week really bring a whole new meaning to life. It's really something I've been yearning to do, so bad! Maybe an inner calling answered? Cos there really are lots of things that I want to do yet have not done owning to lack of opportunities or dampening discouragement.

I started off shaky on my first week of teaching cos it came all too fast! Now that I've a better grasp of my job scope and the kids' new syllabus, I'm glad I've become steadier and built up greater rapport with my students (: In today's lesson the little monsters have clearly opened up to me, but inevitably become more monstrous LOL. Throughout the lesson they wouldn't give me peace going "Teacher teacher teacher!" one after (or even OVER) another.
Sometime mid-lesson Xiangmin asked "Teacher Sharman, you study finish alrd huh?"
Trying hard to comprehend her question I said yup.
Xiangmin: "huh then uni leh, not yet what right?!"
Me: "Orh no la, waiting for school to start lor, some time in August"
At this instant Lyndi popped in and went "huhhhhhh, means you will quit in Aug??!"
Both of them: "Teacher don't laaa, our PSLE in Sep leh, 教完我们啦..."

Somehow their comment struck a chord in me real hard.
Kids will always be this simple-minded and cute no matter how monstrous they can get, and the sheer reliance they develop on you only after a few lessons is something so valuable. I like this feeling. I like to know that I'm doing something useful, helping somebody, and gives them a sense of security, which also explains why I have strong interest in SPF or the field of Psychology. Unfortunately it's been something mum has failed to understand. Time and time again she's dissuaded me from committing too much time to such things and it annoys me, ALOT. She's a great mother, but sometimes she doesn't listen to me with her heart, nor listens to my heart. On angsty tired days when she asks me things she's asked for the zillionth time, I'll really feel defeated, cos it's worse than her dissuading me from doing things I like. It's pure disregard for my thoughts; if you're not gonna have it registered, You ask for what!!?
So I want to tell the whole world now, "Don't ever ask me something if you never listen, or are not interested". It really irks me.

&These days I've also been dying to try many new things in life, be it travelling or just chilling with friends at all sorts of new places or trying activities we've all never done. I need a more exciting life than this! But I guess it'll all have to wait since everyone's busy working/studying....

I know this is an extremely long post, but it consists of all my collective thoughts over this period of inactivity. I hope you've been interested, if not I'm sorry to have bored you ;)

I can't help but love her

2011-03-28T00:36:00.003+08:00

I'm mad tired and eyes rly need rest after applications but XIAXUE kept me awake once again with her wits and humour pertaining to the Peter Coffin dude. Goodness, I think her best reads have got to be her posts about losers and phonies and REAL BAD PEOPLE/ISSUES in this earth. Really worth a read, and draws some good cracking up! In the best mood for sleep now, I love how clever women can get, in whatever way possible ;)

Applications....

2011-03-27T23:18:00.003+08:00

Just finished my applications for NUS and NTU (minus the non-acad section fr NTU) and I am honestly EX.HAUS.TED. It's never been so tiring trying to make the best choices for yourself, not just my stupid eyes giving me probs, but trying to weigh the consequences of my choices, be it the courses itself, or the need for attempting the Discretionary Admissions (under NUS). I gave up trying to fill that section in, cos honestly, I really can't see myself as an NUS student. I know I know, I should try for everything I can. But I already selected my choices as I deem my results would allow without much problem, and filling up anything more than the basic I'ld feel is trying too hard on my part. Especially since I lack strong drive/desire for the need to get myself a place in NUS. If they accept me for what I've achieved academically, great. If not, it's alright, I'll be fine (this is with hopes that whatever I wish to take up in NTU would accept me) On the other hand, the NTU Non-Acad achievements section feels far more inviting cos it doesn't seem like a desperate attempt to enter should we choose to submit it, purely cos of the way they phrase their header. It feels like just an add-on to give more personal information, to better represent yourself holistically, and that helps alot. Maybe it's just me, a psychological thing, but you're here reading what I'm writing so respect that please [: AND another half of me definitely wants to fill it up cos I've wayyyy more interest in NTU and see a greater need to present a better representation of myself to the school. SMU's up next, I'll do it pretty soon this coming week. Slightly dreading it cos I've been told how much more elaborative the answers required are. Grr. But I'll do it. For my future I will. Try every single one to keep my options open. In no way is any of this content personal or an attempt to mock any one else's personal preference/choice, it's really just my opinion, so don't hate me please tyvm (:

Dreams?

2011-03-15T21:39:00.003+08:00

It's the 15th of March.
And as the clock ticks and the night slips by I'm giving up on my SPF LMS dream.

Yes. I really mean it everytime I say I want to take up the Local Merit Scholarship if possible. (I know everyone thinks I'm just bullshiting, not blaming y'all) Even after the release of our results, I still harboured the thought of trying despite not doing fantastically. I even thought of what I'ld say at an interview to make up for my lack of academic excellence, things I thought reflected my true ideals and passion.

There was this day I was on the MRT, and stood right in front of one of those window ads.
It said:

A hat says a lot about you

And it went on the describe a few hats, like a cap, jester hat etc. The adjacent window displayed an array of Home Team head dresses and the first thought that came to mind was: how come it's all the male head dress! Stereotypes stereotypes! Goodness it's been so long since I felt so strongly about something, all the passion surged back in that instant. I always wanted to do something different with my life. But I can't dance, neither can I act, or at least I've never really had the guts to try it out. But being a police, if anything at all, is one thing I've really wanted to do since Sec 1, when I first saw NPCC and thought it was cool. I never thought 4 years in NP could translate to this, but yes, it only fuelled this dream.

So last Sunday I went on to the Home Team website to check the scholarship out and as I was reading through the requirements I was relatively relieved I met the basic expectations. I understood long ago that I'ld be subjected to a 4-year bond, and it doesn't bother me at all, but as I read on, I won't deny, the 9-months long intensive training really set me back abit. It's been so long since I last had to endure those UG camps, ITC/ATCs etc, and this being 9-months, at the real Home Team Academy, was something, something big! But anw I thought eventually that if I had passion I could get through it all. So, I clicked on an application link.

ALAS this is where my sky crashed down on me.
I was led to the PSC Scholarships site -.-
The LMS is a bloody PSC scholarship.

Well I only plucked up the courage to think about the LMS again after talking to Mr Oh and understanding that scholarships of the like (by that I mean SCDF, SAF and SPF sort y'knw?) has lower academic expectations.
But this being a PSC scholarship says it all. By lower expectations it could be a B or two out of all As? But I'm pretty sure my C will get me nowhere. Thank you very much but I've failed. Failed to set realistic targets and most embarrassingly, failed to sustain my guts to fight it all out regardless of my chances. But honestly, no point anyway right?

Right now I can only look forward, and I promise myself solemly that I will only take up something I genuinely have interest in, cos it WILL drive me to excel in it, and I will NOT settle for a fail, ever. It's no longer math, chem, econs and all those things I've never really been able to do. And with this new beginning, I'm gna change this all, once and for all.

This is a weird feeling.

2011-03-13T19:34:00.006+08:00

I just read something.
Something that I think I should read, but rather I had not.

I know for sure I'll never give this up. Not for anything in this world.
But to be truthful, I've never liked to face people who've already had negative impressions/prejudice towards me for whatever reason. If I never knew, perhaps I could behave naturally and change their perception along the way. But if I know, I probably will be too scared to even try in the first place. Yes, humji ttm but I'm just like that. And now I'll never know when I'll ever dare to take this first step.
Then again, who isn't like that right, unless you're A: 100% self-confident, B: 100% arrogant C: mentally exceptionally strong or perhaps most ideally, D: Believes in yourself, A LOT

Honestly, I did wonder if I played a part in this, and I struggled a night to get over it, eventually succeeding cos I believe we're all sensible and have tried our best, no? I understand where you're coming from, but I hope you won't be too quick to judge.

I no longer feel as disturbed as I did that night cos I've calmed down and thought those words through. NO, you won't get me down this lightly, but as of now, I'm really not emotionally strong enough, nor courageous enough to fight your perception.

With everything that's bugging me, tonight's really a tough night.

Brown mouse

2011-03-02T21:05:00.000+08:00

I found out I used to be very dark.
Never used to admit it, but goodness it is true! Just check out all the photos during the NP days D:

The silly bits of dad

2011-02-20T00:51:00.003+08:00

Daddy came into the study room today: Hi sweetie!
Me: Hello daddy!
[He looks at the bouquet of roses]

In the silliest spirit possible spirit he said: WAHHHH roses ah.
Me: MMHM! [trying very hard not to have to say so much]
Dad: Still very fresh hor!
Me: MMHM! [wide grin]
Dad: How many are there?
Me: SEVEN.TEEN!
Dad: Why 17?!
Me: [why he so curious huh......] Cos 17 is a very special date lor! ;)
Dad: [sings:] "I am 17 going 18~~~" ; BUT you are already 18 going 19!

HAHAHAHA, then we hopped onto another topic alrd :P
Daddy's seldom so curious about these things, other than when he catches me carrying mousie or twistie around the house, or when I brought greenie (@SINYEETOH :P) overseas !

I missed the feeling of such silly home chats (:
Home rly hasn't been feeling like home recently. Mad sian. But I'll live with it. Meanwhile I'll occupy myself with work and on other times, mugging with Toh and Vincent (:
JIAYOU FRIENDS!

Will sleep soon, plan to wake up earlier to get somethings done tomorrow (:
GOODNIGHT!

Ridiculousness fills me

2011-02-19T11:32:00.003+08:00

Last night I dreamt that we got back our A level results (YES after the FB girls were yakking about our VERY SOON impending doom :B) and..........

I got A for History and..........

I was the top scorer for it.

HAHAHAHAHA , MAD
you think possible not -.-
I didn't dare put this on facebook else all the real history pros will give me the -.- face alrd :X

I've no idea why, but History was the only score I saw on my cert hahahaha, shit I'm feeling the stress :SSSSS

Old friends, old times, old tales

2011-02-19T01:00:00.003+08:00

Met up with the FB girls awhile ago at Mrs Chan's!

A series of unfortunate ttm events got me to her place soooo late, and even had a funny prelude to that, with how Yueting and I accidentally "found" each other both on the way to Mrs Chan's place !

It was quality time spent, teacher-students interaction, talking and laughing about old times, the school, how it's changed ever since, the radical principal, his funny ttm talks and "concepts", old ttm RV myths and legends (:P), life in future, experiences she had as a growing teen and alllllllll sorts of chapalang funny stuff! Not forgetting her cute girls, great food and hospitality of the whole family!

It's truly heartwarming to see how students and teacher can build up such relationships, despite the times we really disliked her radical training regimes that never did made sense. But I guess we all need to learn from experiences, teachers no less (: I'm glad we all pulled through 2 years of Floorball together as teammates and mentor, and will always stay this collected (:

Love you girls manymany, more gatherings to come! XOXO!

It's a lovely vanlentine's

2011-02-17T23:59:00.001+08:00

Without Spencer around I really honestly thought I was just gna have a nice dinner with Sinyee and spend a peaceful Valentine's, though I would muuch prefer it if busy Wenyi could join us ):
Well kinda sad, but at least I was still gna spend it with someone I love and I was contented ; at keast I won't be a lonely soul lagging away at home.

BUT ALAS! The sneaky friend long had plans with the even sneakier boyfriend and plenty of other sneaky friends knew about it. Totally changed the annoying mood I've had ever since I knocked off and was delayed time and time AGAIN trying to make it back to JP. MAD CROWDED EVERY.WHERE. And the queues at every restaurant was soooo long it killed any joy or mood for a good dinner. But anyway we settled down at Ajisen and had a good dinner, with free surprise (: I can't remember when it was that I last felt so flushed and hot.

Though all of you sneaky kids kept trying to make me feel worse by talking about all the Vday phenomenon on our trips out, Sinyee cursing all ppl with bouquets etc, expressing sianess at dudes queueing to buy their girlfs couquets, Vincent testing me and even wanting to laugh at my expression of sadness when he talked about Vday and flowers and wht not (OF WHICH I CAN'T RECALL), all you friends keeping so mum, SPENCER LEE constantly acting, be it pretending he didn't know, nd later forgetting tht I was gna meet Sinyee, apologising abt his inability to spend it with me, insisting I open the letter he sent only on Vday night, [yes this is one extremely long sentence, cos to all these people, I just want to say:]

I LOVE YOU ALL (:
Y'all have made this Valentine's exceptionally sweet and I thank you darlings all sooooo much (:

When Sinyee came running back with the ginormous bouquet and handed it to me, I bet half of the people watching concluded we were lesbians or smth, HAHAHA! But whatever, I love you honey, for always succeeding at these sneaky things you do (like making me wail like shit last birthday!), and making life so much more exciting :D & for forcing me to count the roses, though it's embarrassing I kept losing count, it was all worth it when I counted the EYE-OPENING 17! Everything's just so thoughtful, love you best friend and boyfriend, can't ever be enough (:

Gigantic rose bouquet still going strong ! ♥

OL Mouse

2011-01-21T23:48:00.005+08:00

HELLO FOLKS WASSUP :D

Pardon me for the lack of updates, am currently a happily employed mouse WHEEEE :D
Am working as an admin assistant in the FINANCE (damn) dept at NUHS, goodness gracious I've no idea why they picked me :B But anyway since they did I'll do my best. So far all's been good, learning new things, making better use of my time, making money (HEHE) and basically it's a new life.

If you haven't known by now though my most horrid experience as an OL till date that brought forth overwhelming response, here it is:

&continues with more enthusiastic responses ))):

Maybe I'm just being too sensitive to the words 小 and 妹 LOL! That incident was on my first day of work on the 18th. Today, on the last day of the week, another auntie at the same food court addressed me as 小妹 again!!! Not even make up or attire can save me... BUT I guess when I really do grow old I'ld learn to appreciate this "baby face" ? :S ROFL whatever la!

& I know I've been boring everyone who reads (if any left) with words words and pending updates that never came, NO PHOTOS. So here I shall bring you some pics of my 1st week at work, bear with the low quality though my phone cmi :P But whatever you see does not reflect the most hectic morning at the office, cos I'm just too busy to pick up my phone fr pics zzz. On the 19th a staple went through my index finger and tore out a huge piece of skin, the following day I got a paper cut, and today I got stuck at the back lift lobby (long story that links back to the lack of HR's ability to hand me an access card efficiently!) But other than those things, I'm fine and happy with nice colleagues (:

Companions at work!

Great Wall of Receipts. -.-

Best part? IT GROWS.

Toilet break anyone? :D

What happens when you darken your photocopies excessively/unnecessarily :P

(whoever did this will get karma lor HAHA)

Whatever it is, I'll keep snapping pictures while I can, and show y'all the progress of the transformation of my work desk! I''ll probably update more often on FB, more convenient there, so follow kay (:

CIAO, ♥

600th

2011-01-07T23:27:00.002+08:00

600 days with the monkey.
& I just love you more with each passing day (:

Bye 2010, HELLO 2011 !

2011-01-01T23:11:00.000+08:00

As we bid 2010 goodbye I'm filled with mixed emotions.
In the past year there has been nothing that took up more space in my brain or time than studying has, cos it's the year we face the big As. Now that it's all over, I'm undoubtedly happy I never have to suffer the same way again. Yet I feel lost at the sudden disembarkment of workload off my shoulders for the first time in years. I suddenly have so much time to spare, yet every day just seems to fleet by fast as light. Days don't seem so productive anymore.

Towards the end of 2010 I've also missed spending the most important days with the most important of friends. I missed the chance to spend Christmas in Singapore with close buddies cos I was away in China. I could have otherwise joined 4H at Miss Chia's, and could possibly meet up with the best girls, but Seow was away at Chiang Mai too. I didn't even get to decide if I wanted to spend Christmas or New Year with Spencer, cos I was either away at China or him away in Vietnam. Close to 3 weeks apart (besides the one day we had before he flew off to Viet) was really a torture, but I guess it was a challenge we survived, and one which made me stronger, brought us closer. I'm glad I'm not a needy mouse (or at least I won't rant it all over) else Wen Yi's totally gna condemn me :B

Well after the As I've been trying for jobs but it's suddenly so hard to find jobs that I'm really interested in. I'm beginning to understand why many people end up doing jobs they really never wanted to take up. Besides the time wasted stoning at home surfing the net, watching videos and half-heartedly packing up, I've been going out with darlings Toh and Seow ! We've been to the beach twice this December, and it's just crazy :D It's nothing like last year's mad Dec shopping, but I like the chillness of it ! More to come girlies!

I spent New Year's Eve shopping and counting down at Orchard with Hui Shan (Bay) and Yee Jin. Memorable way to end 2010, considering I've never really been out on a countdown. The day really went by very quickly, until we hit the last few minutes, which seemed to crawl on f.o.r.e.v.e.r, and I suddenly couldn't wait to bid 2010 goodbye! Basically, the year has just been an insane challenge, and I've fortunately emerged victorious. As we toasted and made our wishes for the year to come, I'm truly relieved we survived this traumatising year. Really.

As we welcome 2011, the first thing I have to say in mind, is to wish my fellow old nugget friends all the best for the tough year ahead, and that I'll always be there to lend a shoulder, listening ear or some help racking brains together. I might not have been the best friend in the past year, neglecting you (yes yes I know I must have been such a monster) but this year I promise to help you guys in every way I can. And yes Ms Toh Sin Yee, this is not the time for you to say you CMI, damn cui, or life sucks. Cos I've been through this and I know it sucks more keep dragging till the last stretch then realise you REALLY CMI, D:

As for all other friends who've made it past the horrible As, it must really have been a tough journey for you too, and I know you won't disagree. It's finally time for us to move on, have fun, and experience new things in life. No matter what you are doing out there now, travelling, working, teaching etcetc, it all beats mugging your brains out, and always enjoy whatever you're doing.

Just had an extended family gathering at Lynette/Kevin's place today. I've missed this warm get togethers so much. Just lots of noise, laughter, cheers and even the mockings! More to come please more to come! And I've really got to thank the IT whiz Kevin for trying so hard to get the lost China photos back for me, else I really will emo all my life. Thank you so much dear cousin (: Ice cream for a whole year whenever you'ld like PROMISE.
I thank all friends and family who have encouraged and supported me in the darkest period of my life. The company of all you people have pulled me through horrendous year 2010, and I'ld like you to know I'ld hope to continue to share my happy moments and burdens with y'all, just as I'm willing to share yours too (:
All the best for the year ahead all!

XOXO, the mouse!
I figured it's nice to see all 1s in the date and time so I edited the time of entry abit :D
CHEERS and GOODLUCK LOVELIES, whoever's still reading my dead space!

I don't know why you're just like that

2010-12-30T12:17:00.004+08:00

You'll never get anywhere with your relationships, because you don't put your heart into it.
Playing hard to get? Even after you got together? Don't give people that crap. Honestly, I think he(s) care(s) far more about you than you do about them. One long mesage and your reply? < 5 words. ROFL , it's really not so funny.
So yes, stop being a bitch (quoting what you always say about yourself).
It's so annoying, grow up. Else it doesn't matter if you've 5, 7 or 10! It'ld always end the same way.

&just so you know, people don't ignore others for no reason. If you hadn't been such a princess and rude prick, you would have been spared the cold shoulder. But you apparently see no fault in your speech and mannerism whatsoever.

I wished you'll grow up today. I thought I got over your childishness and could live with it. Apparently it hits a higher level every now and then, and I'm sick of your shit TYVM.

Floorball Farewell

2010-12-20T00:15:00.002+08:00

I expected more out of the night, but it was really just a BBQ, nothing more. It wasn't even a successful BBQ, with the guys continually trying to strengthen the fire and what not, many times, uncalled for.
So much for Toh's busying for the past few days, doing the calculations, marinating the wings, checking BBQ Wholesale out, going down with Sey Chee to get the food, preparing this and that, everything planned out nicely but the results, kinda disappointing.

Still I liked it that we could still sit together and chat about the old times, how we played in and out of court, how we fought against others and "fought" with each other :D And with Yiling Clarine and Yueting, the NP times. Ofcos coach too, all excited about our prom looks and laughing at our photos, and her height issues. HAHAHA, she's hilarious. But she bought us Ben&Jerry's. OHMAN, such an angel ;)

So overall I guess it was a good night, not for it's intended purpose, not complaining, cos for old times' sake, two thumbs up (:

Seventeenth

2010-12-17T18:12:00.009+08:00

1 year and 7 months ; that makes 17 ! :D

♥

Caught Let Me In with Spencer today, not too bad, has quite abit of gory scenes too. But I bet the level of gore will not be able to satisfy any single nerve in Toh hahaha, THE hardcore gore fan!!!

Then we were just supposed to go stroll at Keppel Island but alas he decided we go on an impromptu picnic hahahah! So we went to get food stuff at Cold Storage and made our way there with bread, ham, cheese, sushi and fruit juices in tow! It's silly how random we can be hehe! No pictures though cos the sister borrowed my camera to KL!

Weather was great, windy most of the time with comfortable sunshine I very much wished was available when I was there at the beach with girlies Toh and Seow on Wednesday! Like Seow said ,we'll keep going till we meet Mr. Sunshine! :D
I also took more polaroids with the boy and he wrote on every single one. Wonder what that ego boy wrote. I'm only allowed to read them one by one when I go to China. I'm wondering if I can fight the temptation already :X I'll try!
So (limited) pictures up only after I'm back since I can't see them now ;)

I guess it's been a great day albeit short, and now I'm back home to do chores nd whtnot. Hope baby has fun with the family at Maldives. Goodness it's paradise on earth. Jealous max! But I'm not complaining, I'm gna go see gorgeous scenery at Jiuzhaigou soon myself! Though it's gna be 12 freaking long days before I'll next see him and will miss him like mad, I'll bear with it, cos I'm supermouse!
&I'll have fun with dear friends in Singapore while I can! 3 more days till I'm gone too! Have fun and work hard if you are alrd working girls! Hope I'll find nice souvenirs to bring back to you darlings XOXO (:

Bad and tired days

2010-12-02T22:00:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was supposedly a good day until I lost my card for the first time in my life -.-
I didn't even lose it so to say. I saw it drop then it disappeared into the tiniest slit possible on the bus. To retrieve it I met the lousiest and most unhelpful driver ever, and a team that wasn't able to retrieve the card despite me giving specific locations and everything. But I don't blame them so much at least they tried.
Well it's a really long story, and I don't really feel like recounting it all.

SBS 8929U, I will remember you -.-
Lousy SBS, hope their license will end soon and so some better management team will take over and do a better job. GRR

Well I didn't want to blog about this honesty cos I was too fuming mad last night to want to make myself feel worse. BUT I got on the exact same bus with the exact same driver today! I wouldn't have know if the stupid driver hadn't taken a second look at me. He really doesn't know how to count his blessings still want to remind me about the incident to earn himself a complaint, seriously. LEAVE ME ALONE UNCLE, if you still want your rice bowl.

Post-exam syndrome?

2010-11-30T11:28:00.002+08:00

Suddenly the internet and com fail to keep me interested!
So ima go pack stuff and do the laundry HEHE

Goodness what has studying done to me?
:P

Monkey's Day ♥

2010-11-27T23:53:00.001+08:00

This. Feels. Like. Heaven.

It's just been so long since I could go out to shop, walk aimlessly, chat nonsense for hours, and anything but study!

Yesterday I went out with Clarine and Yueting to town to do some prom shopping. Missed disturbing Yueting with Clarine, making fun of her greediness, silliness, ungirlyness etc.

Today I spent a day with Spencer, doing things we've not done in 300000000days (ok obviooooously not so much but I cld rly put "years" if I lacked more self-control :B).
It's been months since I last watched a movie (besides the one on my birthday)
It's been months since we had a proper date (besides a few study dates here and thr)
It's been months since he sent me home (he even forgot the bus from schl to my house)
It's been months since we went shopping for his stuff (though he's a picky shopper)
It's been months since we could just sit at a spot, admire the scenery (beautiful or not), and just hop topics on and on and talk forrrrrever.

Goodness I missed liberation.
I missed Spencer.
I missed you girls!

Floorball at the school hall on Monday old-RVFBT!
Buffet&shopping turned study date girlies!
Movie date I owed you since 2 birthdays ago brother Lai!

I. Can't. Wait. (:

You were right!

2010-11-23T23:38:00.003+08:00

Yes indeed I feel rather 空虚 now that I have no books/studying to fall back on in times like these.
I'm free? After so long I. Am. Free?!?!?!

I'm watching tv,
I'm washing the dishes,
I'm clearing out the rubbish,
I'm stoning,
I'm surfing the net:
Facebook - Gmail- Message Centre (to reply ur smses faster) - Hotmail - Facebook - Twitter - astep-ahead ;) - Facebook - some blog shop - Xiaxue.sg - Facebook - Twitter

ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE, even to sites I've been to just a minute ago.
This time round there's nothing holding me back, say to click the red cross and get back to some notes. Honestly it feels weird. Cos no social network sustains my attention or viewing time for more than half an hour cos almost all you buddies are still stuck in the A-Level Cloud. Hang on tight darlings just a little more to go, then I'll be truly liberated together with all of you! JIAYOUJIAYOU! I'm waiting ;)

But yes I still refuse to clear out the load of notes (mostly EEEEEEEcons) strewn all over the study desk. HEH. I don't know why but there's just this huuuuuge inertia :X

Had a fruitful gym session with dear Toh, and will go on a study date with the history gang tmrw, plus some exciting nightlife after that ;)
Great days coming, hang in there all! ♥

Stinky Fact of Life

2010-11-22T11:31:00.003+08:00

Honestly,
Nothing is forever. And that stinks.

Just like how I'll never be straight As forever as with PSLE.
Damn.
Forget the straight As even, I can't even hope for straight Bs.
Nice.

[edit]
But even if I rly flop at the end of the day, I know I'll always have wonderful friends who never gave up on me and pushed me on, even when I wanted to give up on myself. Thanks darlings.
If nothing at all, family and friends are forever (:
I feel much better thanks to you honey bees, you know who you are!
XOXO
[/edit]

I don't know what to put here

2010-11-21T21:56:00.002+08:00

I'm clearly losing it.
I'ld rather sleep in than struggle further.

I think I've been blown too far away to recover.

-GASPS!-

2010-11-18T09:34:00.001+08:00

I don't rmb if I've posted this before, but this is MAD A M A Z I N G.
So who cares even if it's a second time ;)

Deceiving ads!

2010-11-17T23:04:00.004+08:00

I don't remember my bag, the exact same one, looking so glam!!!
It's just me right, not glam :'(

But upon further analysis I figured it's all deception of the adverts. I mean. How can your bag maintain this pyramidal shape!!! Heavy things will drag the base down and you won't always have things to fill up the bag more to give a heavier bottom. What's inside the bag here? RICE PAPER/ NEWSPAPER!

):

Now I shall vow never to succumb to temptation to get bags online. Cos it's just so deceiving, preying on tht little vain bit of my brain of mine that overpowers my sensible thinking logic!
Good thing I didn't get this bag online or I'ld have really felt infinitely scammed! >:(

Today,

brother called twistie twister, ROFL
Daddy laughed at me(again) whn he saw me holding on to twistie while reading my econs notes

PFFFT

Wonders of Life

2010-11-17T15:14:00.003+08:00

It is indeed a small small world.
Just around the corner or a course and building away in school, you might meet a friend's relative or friend or old schoolmate or some sort. Perhaps even your own distant cousin you've never met your whole life!

It's amazing how friends can look back at their history and laugh at how things started out or developed between each other. Then we'll laugh at the embarrassing things, or joke about how ridiculous we used to be.

Such is life.
It could suck then, but it'ld all turn out to be ok (:

HANG IN THERE YOU GUYS WHO ALWAYS SCREAM LIFE SUCKS ;)

Chem P3?

2010-11-09T23:53:00.000+08:00

Characteristic DOFU paper.
ROFL.

You disappointed?

2010-11-08T12:00:00.006+08:00

Just in case you don't read comments or whtever,

A. I didn't keep my papers properly? Whr wld you keep a book you didn't finish reading? If you read them by the bedside you'll leave it back there right? Wht abt that WHOLE TABLE OF YOUR THINGS, in a shared space, bedroom?
YES NEWSPAPERS ARE DIRTY. Not just MY newspapers.

B. If you knw there were old newspapers why didn't you used them first. Isn't it only common sense you'll clear rubbish 1st. Why not just admit you were seeking the convenience.

C. I didn't scream at you. You think about it. I DID NOT SCREAM AT YOU. It was far from screeching or booming. I just raised my voice, know there wasn't anything else to be done, thn left.

D. I didn't think you were guilty or ashamed. You do rmb yourself stomping down the stairs and slamming the door do you? & Cos you cldn't even bother apologising. As a matter of fact, you've never apologised for anything you've done wrong. To yourself, to others.

Don't call me unreasonable when you are so most of the time.

Don't say others are disappointing when you don't even have a firm stand and disappoint far more people other times.

Ask yourself.
I didn't wna respond. But I think you ought to know what you think is not always right. I didn't think I should have left the papers there so I left without kicking up a big fuss anw. Yes, didn't I?
If you're not afraid of telling the whole world, through the phone or your blog, I'm not afraid either.
You think you're taking it well and defending yourself well, winking and all? Whatever you think now, you'll know it's all foolish when you grow up. I've been through that. And I think you ought to know some things had better been thought through before voicing out. Or you'll regret all your life.

-

So don't go thinking I'm unreasonable just cos you think I am.

Don't exaggerate facts lor. Just because I gave you a unkind look seeing all my newspapers become your whacko sticks nd raised my voice (nd I swear it is far from angry loud)? Because you think I should have kept my newspapers properly? Ya sorry, it's ok wht's done can't be undone I didn't burn ur whacko sticks did I? Then are you gng to keep away all the things on the retractable table now?

Yesyes go spread your side of the story, find your army of friends to collectively dislike me whatever. I have friends too leh. Then? Yes I dare to use my name to leave the comment. I dare to blog here and have you know I'm talking about you. So come if you want to, I'll even talk to you face to face cos typing is damn tiring.

People are more worried about you than they'ld wish to pick fights with you. Just because you don't realise that doesn't mean xxx sucks, xxx deserves your vulgarities, xxx isn't fit to be your friend. People know you, even the side you don't want to admit to, that's why they say what they say openly, hoping u'ld read with an open heart. I know it's damn hard to take it, but if you'ld sit down nd think about it, talk to them about it, you'll know. Don't make life difficult for yourself and others around you. Grow up and realise that.

YA LA, I'm a naggy preacher, don't try to change me, stupid know-it-all, pseudo-saint. Whatever. I'm saying all this because I've been through that stage in life. Yes I'm trying to change you cos whatever you're doing isn't what's best for you or at least mum (you know wht don't you). You don't like it, then I won't bother trying anymore. Go love your life go ahead. Next time your friends 鸟 you on FB I'll just pretend I didn't see it and feel nothing. Kthxbai, enjoy your life.

Cos You're Amazing ♥

2010-11-07T15:28:00.004+08:00

Just The Way You Are -Bruno Mars

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Even the video is mad cute. *melts*

Disaster strikes

2010-11-05T12:44:00.003+08:00

After all the games he's ever tried, from online childish games that we've all been through like Neopets, Miniclips, to newer things I'll generation never heard of or touched like Penguin Club, Habbo Hotel, then t0 MMORPGs like MapleStory, Gunbound, then more violent downloads like Counter-Strike, then when the computer went kuku from all his downloading and removing, he moved on to PSP and DS. Now that the com's back to life, I always thought it was weird why he didn't download the hottest game in town, but I was glad he didn't anw and wished he wouldn't. BUT ALAS. Brother is now into Dota, OH. NO. It's The End.
LOL, I hope he wouldn't get addicted like how I dislike people around me being, D:

(I still wished I could burn down all the LAN shops in SG!)
rmb this Sylvia? :P

&I'm searching for Math solutions and concepts (concurrent vectors wth?!?!) on Google. I cannot believe myself D:

Many thoughts.

2010-10-31T10:11:00.003+08:00

There's a man in every Sharman
-Yun Rou

LOL she told me 'bout this she thought of while reading Ayesha's blog, and I thought it was hilarious ;)

Today shall be some math and chem (in the morning) and econs and some history day.
LOL Idk why I feel like doing a little of everything today, but I will.

Like a dream (:

2010-10-27T08:19:00.012+08:00

The morning after: Feels like a dream

I successfully rescued the yellow baby last night and tied it back !

There's this persistent haze in my head (not the skies)
And I don't know whether if it's cos of the late night, the insane turn of emotions, too much crying, the unbelievability (if ever such a word exists) of it all or just the true happiness. Whichever the case, I don't mind it at all and I can't thank all you potential Oscar winners enough! (:

In order of evil lies told (or maybe not),
DengYin who was going to her AUNTIE's birthday dinner, goodness WHAT A LIE, and I took it just at face value! Too much SBQ perhaps~
CheeHooi who FORGOT my birthday, albeit pretending to be guilt-stricken
Mummy who asked what dinner I wanted, and later called again to say there was no chicken rice and told me to choose smth else yadayada
Brother Lai who rudely (NOT JOKING) called to get me to buy Kokocrunch and milk back, WHICH I RLY DID
SINYEE I don't know whether to put you right at the top or what cos you obviously had it all planned, but you had to be so unhappy (ha.ha.) this period hence forgetting at midnight and even called to emo and I took it for real, was feeling daaaaaamn sad for you really GRR, and worse cos it was on this day.
And all of you KeXin ShiXian WenYi YanYi YeeJin YunRou and even Spencer, for being such great secret huggers. HAH
I was SOOOO sad Mao forgot my birthday
I was SOOOO sad I wouldn't get to see Seow and mantou, people I'ld expect to at least study with on my birthday (HAHA)
I was SOOOO sad I wouldn't been meeting you girls Kex, honey, Jo and Toh till after As
I was SOOOO sad my birthday was just gonna pass like that though I at least had 5hrs earlier on with the monkey
I WAS SO SAD my best friend would emo like crazy on my birthday and couldn't be happy enough to spend some time with me
HONESTLY, REALLY SAD.

But y'all came and changed everything! In a matter of seconds. I always thought these scenes only showed up in dramas and would nvr have dreamt it'ld happen in real life in my house, with the people I love best (:

Looking back at it all, the past events, I realise there were indeed many hints I could have picked up, but obviously failed to.
For one Spencer asked if I had plans with the girls and when I said no he said "aiya maybe they want to surprise you leh!" But I shook it off knowing I had tuition and just felt that there wasn't an appropriate time to. BESIDES, his idea of the surprise was for y'all to decorate the tuition classroom, and celebrate THERE. How can be right HAHAHA. He said another hint he dropped was when he asked if I had dinner last night, which I didn't find suspicious at all, even now, cos it's always his concern, cos he can't live w/o food ROFL :P
Next my mum has been saying weird things like suggesting I'ld have 节目, despite my reminders that I've tuition, and bringing the family dinner forward. Got away scott-free cos dad wouldn't be home on the actual day anw for a celebration, so it made perfect sense~ Funny, cos she's usually rly poor at keeping secrets :P
Then I caught CheeHooi and DengYin exchanging weird glances for abit at tuition but soon dismissed them thinking chee was just guilty about forgetting my birthday and all. And while walking to the interchange I found myself talking to BeiShan more while they continued chatting at the back!
&DengYin mentioned auntie's birthday, but today is a weekday! And extended families seldom are able to get together on weekdays cos of work and all. Then chee was walking towards the interchange as well somemore, no idea why taking bus from this side, but I was thinking perhaps 99? Then dengdeng also scooted off halfway there saying she was gna take a cab down.
Bro also kept calling me with his handphone then house phone alternately, very weird leh but I was thinking he thought I'ld definitely pick up calls from home and was avoiding his calls cos I haven't got the stuff HAHA
How can Sinyee miss my birthday just like that?! If she hadn't text me at all I rly would have been suspecting all the way home :B
OH and in a day both Sylvia and Seow asked if I was attending GP on Tues morning. Where on earth did such a coincidence pop up from!! Guess I was too emo to think.

And there rly are manymanymany more. Was thinking through all the past events during shower and all my brain-free moments. I cannot believe how I'm THIS naive, dense and dismissed it allllllllllllllllll! But y'all are good. REALLY (: I guess it was the ultimate smart choice to put this all the way at the end of the day cos even at mid day I was thinking of possibilities of maybe just Toh nd Seow popping out at JE for dinner or smth. When I rly reached JP and had an ungrateful brother asking me to buy Kokocrunch (still bitter abt it) was when I thought I was just going home to emo dinner for real alrd ROFL. And there are rly too much coincidences and events and thoughts that fitted and fell into place, nicely enough for me to accept all the lies.
Despite being tricked and all I'ld really like to thank y'all once more, for the effort, time and crazy happy birthday love I've received from each and everyone of you ;) I believe no one has seen me cry tears of joy LIKE THIS before. You privileged darlings remember this for life ahhhh! HEHE I, for one, will never ever ever forget! (High Schl Musical siol :P)

Lunch was great, Life As We Know It was heaven, the very-hard-to-get birthday cake was awesome, you looked good, I loved the bag, and you too dear (:
Even tuition was a surprise, with tcher (I cannot control I HAVE TO SAY 小强 hahaha) suggesting a birthday song at the end and he even joined in, mad it was mad (:
And the 压轴 no doubt was you girlies! I'll smile to sleep and dream of it for a long time probably, toooo fairytale-like :D
Quoting CheeHooi: "Friends for a nong nong time to come"!
XOXO ♥

Even twistie loooooves the floor of dreamy balloons ;)

&besties, there's no need to feel bitter about me not telling you plans with Spencer cos I didn't rly know what we'ld do today too, meet at what time, until he asked me to choose a movie. SO, I STILL LOVE Y'ALL MANYMANY no pouts k! ;)

Bad Day

2010-10-25T12:03:00.004+08:00

My mind is miles away today, and I don't know what's wrong.
I'm feeling damn emo after consultation and remedial, every smile's tiring.
I don't even feel like typing smilies in my texts.
I can't walk with speed.
I can't cross roads properly.
I can't even remember to bring my GC.
ZZZ
One of those days when your tears drop and you don't know why. PMS maybe. lol

I hope I survive the trip to and back from the CC.
Bye com.

&darling Seow I'm rly touched you asked, even though it's just a simple text [:

Tomorrow is Organic Chem @ Woodlands day

2010-10-23T00:20:00.007+08:00

I figured Woodlands Regional Lib works wonders for me. Ima go back there tomorrow.
Before I do, I'ld like to leave you with some cute/inspirational stuff I found on photobucket while updating my photos for the side bar (I know you're bored out seeing the same things over and over again :B)

Pretty much says how there are always two sides to a coin, sometimes more.

If he can't appreciate you, yes he's a nitwit darling, don't settle for it.

In that case, don't bother, step on the flower ;)

&you're irreplaceable, remember that (:

HAHAHA, NOOOO la... I know you aren't like this girls (: ♥

Cute aye? (: Such a sweet moment!

Now I thought the photography and idea was good, but the clique content cracked me up :P

&To all sweethearts out there, JIAYOU, we're all in this together (:

Lastly.....

I found this hiliarious :P
If you slacked today, run like hell on the studying threadmill tmrw yea?!

BYEBYE ALL! ♥

Aboslutely random

2010-10-22T07:50:00.006+08:00

I always fill my bottle then leave it on the kitchen counter.
Do you?
When I take a wrong bus I try to act cool and alight two stops down. (:B)
Would you?
I've walked up a down-riding escalator more than once; embarrassing as hell.
Have you?
I've gone to school forgetting both my specs and contacts.
Have you?

I. Cannot. Believe. Myself. ):
Alright it isn't too bad. Just random thoughts.

Anw I was on the way to Woodlands today and I chanced upon this family on the train -
Mum: 妹妹啊和，如果没有mummy你敢这样自己一个人出来吗？
Daughter: (feebly but surely) 敢！
Mum: 哇你厉害咯~ (proceeds to caress daughter's head)

:]
The daughter was innocently trying to display her bravery perhaps to her parents, and prove that she's made up of much more. Y'know, kids her age (probably 5/6?) very gung-ho, don't like to have people thinking they're little and defenseless and gutless. HAHA, well ofcos there are exceptions la, with meek and sweet little (girls usually) kids sticking around you for as long as they can, seeking your every little attention and care.
Well one could hear slight disappointment from the mum's voice/reply. She probably wished that her daughter needed her more, at this tender age especially. Ofcos I believe that little girl will regret once she comes out alone once la, cos it's a big world out there and she's so tiny, bound to feel minute and overpowered, wishing she could cower beside her parents. But mums just like to hear those this right, HAHA. It's not enough for them to know or feel that they are needed, they want to HEAR it. Even if you're lying, hearing it feels waaaaay better than anything. HAHA

Guess that's in all women in general, that's why many get cheated out there. It doesn't matter if your boyf really means it or not, "I love you" "I need you" "I miss you" and the holy word "FOREVER" is all it ever took to melt a woman and for her to love you back the way you never imagined they could ROFL. Sometimes I hate being female. So gullible and weak, and even if I know all these things, some parts of it all still remain to apply to me the same was as they do for all women. You there behind the screen don't read this and laugh at me and say I'm just as weak and all as the average female uh..... Cos I TELL YOU, this stupid (IMO) trait is in all women. No matter how cynical/unbelieving/铁石心肠 you are, hearing things you like like these, or anything you ever wanted to hear deep down in your heart, would jolt you the same way. NIAHA, don't lie to yourself babe.
-shoots a glare at Sinyee- :D

Alrighty gta run for GP consultation now (:
Just thoughts from yesterday's happenings, hope I didn't bore you friends, just figured I ought to update!

About graduation, I'll do an update on hindsight. When I get my hands on YR's pictures!
&I'm unlocking this blog, cos I hate it that my com refuses to save the cookie and I've to sign in everytime to read my. own. blog. -.-
YES, I understand your agony now darlings :P
XOXO ♥

No more chances

2010-10-10T23:34:00.002+08:00

They told me all I had to do was to try my best.
I've always tried my best since I was 7 when I took my 1st exam.
Somehow, the times that I tried the hardest, the results disappointed me the greatest as well.
What sort of a differential equation does this general solution generate? All the family of curves don't prove this stupid saying right excuse me.

I look at what I got back for Prelims and I wonder what I should expect myself to achieve in the coming As. IDK LA IDK, I'll just try my best for the last time. YOU DAMN STATEMENT HAD BETTER COME TRUE ALRIGHT. Or I'll crush this myth like I crushed the foolscap for THAT differential eqn question I failed to solve>:(
Yunrou knows ):

-trying to not be demoralised-

Liberated! for now

2010-09-22T23:23:00.002+08:00

NO MORE PRELIMS! I'm over you monster!!!

Just returned from mid-autumn stroll at the park with my family, so long since I could slack like that without guilt :X When I came home today I even slacked on my parents' bed watching HK drama with daddy, MUAHAHA.
Now I'll take a good rest and run today and tomorrow, do some math thn meet the girls for dinner, yumyum (:

Jiayou to my CSE buddies, last paper then we'll chill for awhile together ok! 我等你们啊! (:

One last day

2010-09-21T17:08:00.002+08:00

Well that's almost the end of Chemistry for Prelims.
I'm proud of myself for not giving up on Ammonia compounds this time round, still a tad disappointed I don't know how to give up on qns that I'm clearly too distressed to solve (like qn 1 that I spent close to 10mins on only to achieve nothing), but at least knew to come back to search for any other mark I can grab like tht dimerisation one. Good and bad, today's paper wasn't so bad I guess, but I got to be able to do better than this.

Last one tomorrow, MCQ. Goodness, my nemesis, failing all the time. I hope to do better tomorrow. Not forgetting History at 2pm. 3 hours from there I'll be scooting home and out again for a run. NO MORE NONSENSE EXAMS FOR NOW! >:(

Hang. In. There.
You too dear friends (:

SERIOUS. SERIOUS. MUST BE SERIOUS.

2010-09-20T16:31:00.003+08:00

Today,
I will conquer you, Kashmir and AI.
No longer will I settle with one-page essays because I devoted all my time to the other sections knowing I've no chance with you >:(

Don't. Mess. With. Me.

[update]
I cannot recall how many times I've checked up the word "plebiscite" and when I see the meaning I go: "ORRRRRHHHH"
WTH, idk how I can forget basic terminology >:(
[/update]

Don't challenge my scatterbrain

2010-09-15T12:00:00.006+08:00

Today, I made the stupidest mistake in my life.
NO JOKE

If this was the As I'ld have thrown myself off the school building.
Here goes.

(Sharman Lai, when you read this say 5 years later while going through ur archives, YOU BETTER FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF AND NEVER EVER DO THIS AGAIN! Tell your future kids that too!)

I left out the last page of Math Paper 2
I didn't know it existed
I lost marks for the whole damn page
And it's not like I don't know how to do it all.

Nice one Lai Zhi Qi.
D:
D:
D:
D:
D:
D:
D:
D:
D:
D:
D:
D:
D:

Ima punish myself with Maggi for lunch, (Y)
HAI

Too late, too bad!

2010-09-13T13:46:00.003+08:00

I think I've cleared up my conceptual misunderstandings about Differentiation and is in a better position to tackle the questions now.
This prelims, I will no longer give up on Differentiation -determinded face-
Meanwhile, Integration still has to wait. Too bad! >:D
Ima take things slow and steady (OFCSO READY BY As) and conquer my worst topics!

I attempted to do the same for AP and GP too actually. I tried some questions, some were a breeze, some were just.... SOOOO. DAMN. HARD. So for this I guess gta 靠灵感 liaoooooo (:

Anw I think I'm a goner fr Econs thanks to my throat infection (for the ten-millionth time -.-)
Fever for 3 days robbed me of the productivity peak when I was planning to mug Econs. Nice la.
I'm done with Math for now, gna do Econs after I take a lil' break.
NO MORE JOKES, after this shit 3 days I realise anything can happen, so I better grab every chance while I can to study, and not stone, slack, waste time, chill, thinking I still have n-(no. of days chilled) days left to work harder.

YEA RIGHT, see, look what deep shit you're in now.

D:

You'll never know what'll happen tmrw,so you better grab today and study hard

2010-09-10T22:04:00.004+08:00

Am shivering in my jacket, and the aircon isn't on, no fan.
I've made so many "wantons" I think I could serve 100 patrons, with larger portions than the average hawker centre.
This time I rly got to say this:

FML
Of all the times to fall rly sick it's gta be now? -.-

Wasted time

2010-09-09T10:05:00.004+08:00

Wasted at least 20mins trying to recover my lost Microecons tutorials that haven't been tested for a looong time.
Turns out it was in the cupboard that I thought it was in all along, just hidden behind my dad's briefcase. (Y)

ZZZ
Sometimes I wished mummy wouldn't touch my things, I know where they are exactly the way I left them and frankly speaking, it wasn't all that messy to begin with.

Not forgetting the bad flu and cough and NO VOICE today, sucks, very bad day >:(

I can't help you if you won't help yourself

2010-09-05T13:37:00.003+08:00

I know that I ought to stand up for her when I see her friends start such a conversation openly on FB about her.
But I must say I agree with them.
That you always make things complicated, wallow in self pity and just wouldn't love yourself more. No matter what any of us say, you just wouldn't snap out of it. When will you grow out of this? Please do soon.
Don't complain about being lonely, not being loved cos you fended them all out yourself. Get your act together, stop making everyone worry.

World's greatest joke

2010-09-01T22:38:00.014+08:00

"You are a saaaaaaaaaad strange lil' (wo)man"

LOLLOLLOL
Epic joke.
Even if it's just a coincidence, it's still a joke.

YOU. Are. A. Joke.
Always bringing out the evil in me, TSK

落汤鼠与馒头 ):

2010-08-23T22:47:00.003+08:00

Day ended with being drenched on the way to JP then Frontier with Yunrou. (Y)
Sudden downpour in a matter of 2-5mins, with crazy wind that blew huge rain droplets on to us from the side. Yes, the umbrella was useless. We we're drenched, grr. Must have been quite a sight.

Even as I left the place with Seow later at night, it was drizzling.
What a day, when I thought I had been good to wear my whiter old shoes out.

I know I sound incoherent.
I'm tired.
I'm doing work.
I'm gna sleep by 12.

):

Doomed?

2010-08-22T22:10:00.002+08:00

I can't imagine how I'm expected to regurgitate all the case study knowledge, especially for the SBQ. I have to source from 14 different case studies in my human database for 1 SBQ question, that's mad. & I'm not.
That's not even considering the fact that Cambridge may decide to set something that we've not studied. I don't even wna imagine. D:
&so I've squeezed the last of my brain juice to complete the inhumane HCI SBQ.
But I know I ought to continue to work on my CSQ Supplementary cos Ms Lee's gng through that in class tomorrow and I must attempt it to make the lesson productive ):

Last Friday the Econs dept spammed us with a stack of Econs examiner's report, CSQ answers and what not, GP hurled at us more random notes, Chem presented us moremore&MOREEEE MCQ papers, I don't even think I'ld be able to go through half of them honestly.
I can't think straight now, 走一步算一步 isn't that right thing to do too, I don't know where I'm headed honestly honestly.

I'm stressed but not stressed.
Idk what to think.
):

When my brains refuse to be more productive

2010-08-22T15:38:00.003+08:00

Even though this is not a uni-gender space, I need to say this:

I hate the pad smell.

I know you do too sisters.

A random thought...

2010-08-21T21:29:00.003+08:00

I was surfing Facebook sick from struggling for SBQ, when I came across someone's profile (not for the 1st time ofcos) and thought to myself:

When someone gives away "I love you"s so liberally,

to best friends and not just girl friends but guy friends,

when do you know if they really mean it,

more crucially, in THAT way?

Now that's truly intriguing.
I don't think it's wise at all, IMO (:

Prom, hmmm...

2010-08-18T22:38:00.002+08:00

Today the Prom Night Committee (LOL) came over the PA system to make its debut announcement about our Prom.

Since forever there have been people talking bout how they don't rly wna attend it, and I admit to being one of them for a short period of time some time back. But I guess Deng Yin was right, whatever it is, most of us will eventually go anw. Cos it's after all a milestone, quite once in a lifetime (esp since we've missed the yr4 one) and a good chance to just get together after all the tough mugging.

Spencer asked if I was gna attend prom at the library today.
He asked this before and I said I wasn't too keen then, but I've since changed my mind halfway through the year. But I pretended anyway and said:
"hmmmm... let me think about it" :B
The silly monkey took my word for it and said:
"Whyyyy... I invite you to prom la, will you go then?" (with a mad cheeky smile)
Aha! Silly things he do/say like this make me smile myself silly.
So albeit being a tiring day, i ended it in high spirits, just like yesterday when my dad came into the study room and said:
"goodnight my dear!"
Aww, how sweet ♥
Life now's tough, but still good (:
Cos I still have good friends too who for one, will force me to have my breaks whenever I may choose not to :B Love you silly sisters!

FOCUS

2010-08-12T20:07:00.004+08:00

I have banished my laptop to the retractable shelving!
Now I have a greater table top to do my work on and with the com out of sight, out of mind! At least for a longer time :D

So focus mouse focus!

I am a cool mugger B)

"Fire in the belly"?
I'll breathe it out to engulf you Seetoh!
We're working on it don't pass your insensitive judgments just yet

Life's simplest pleasures (:

2010-08-08T23:34:00.002+08:00

It's a good day.
Just studying and a good dinner together,
simple things are once again proven satisfying (:

I like this comfortable feel ♥

ROD '10

2010-08-07T00:24:00.005+08:00

Righty am done with History. Been working on it for so long cos I can't dig out relevant CK, zzz so annoying. Had to listen to NDP songs while working on it to curb my frustration. I love NDP songs actually, :D

Like I mentioned earlier on I went to watch another batch's ROD with some squadmates today, it was rly funny (esp since I was beside Zimin LOL), reminiscing the times we were participants of RODs, whether we were this silly, whether our seniors who returned to watched felt wht we felt abt the junior's actions, dances etc. A short good sweet time together ;)
Before the concert started some of us were fooling around with the helium balloons released earlier this morning for the Nat Day celebration in the MPH. HAHAHA quoting Winnie, it felt like we were entering a 异度空间 LOL! I got a shock when I entered that dim section of the hall with a balloon floating in mid air, and it wasn't the only one! That's what it was like in there :P
Other sirs came back too like Cher-E, Raymond, Eric, Alan, Kee An... Was funny how Cher-E decided to test Alan's memory and ask him for our names LOL! Yes "Sherman" hor Sir, I'll remember this all my life! But he's always been one of my favourite ICs in time so I guess it's no big deal! &the highlight of today was the Liting look-alike in the recently promoted Sec2 (maomao ?!?) squad LOL! They look alike speak alike behave alike BEST OF ALL, SAME NAME. Too much of a coincidence I've to say. Everyone including the teachers and Ma'am Huiqing were amused, teasing Liting to no end. Mr Oh even made them take a picture, EPIC! I hope to see that pic soon :P

Getting back into the NP company felt real good. Even though standards have changed, somehow the juniors are just kinda rude, but it still feels comforting to know that people in there, TOs, HOs, CIs, cadets, all remember us even thought we graduated 2 yrs back. Being able to say hi to, smile to and laugh at the juniors who are.. let's just say less confined by UG customs and rules. Getting respectful recognition by juniors who know the expectations. Funniest of all getting puzzled yet slightly awestruck gazes from the juniors who've never seen us. LOL. Very interesting experience all in all (:

But Mr Oh had to deal us with the hard fact by walking past our row of tables once nd telling us "你们老了" D:
It's true though. Even before this when I met him on Thursday morning I was already telling him about how old I've become when he asked if I was attending the ROD. Once Peihao's batch RODs nxt year, I'll see no more familiar faces zzz. Doesn't sound too appealing hur.
Yes la yes I'll get on with life, go do my Psychology and be a criminal psychologist! Sounds good? :P Yes that's an alternative career choice I'm looking at. I'm really interested in this too, just that I fear I'll run the risk of turning psychotic, :X
After As I'll check out what this job is all about 1st then I decide ok!
Goodnight!

National Day @ Schl

2010-08-06T13:00:00.004+08:00

Today is by far the most hyped National Day celebration RV has had since I stepped into the school 5years ago. (Damn, I'm mad old)

At least one more good event for me to have good memories of this place b4 I leave. (: Took lots of photos, not just with close friends, with the class, but even with Jasmine. Haha she's so silly (:
Had lunch with mantou seow nd chee and OldTown, not bad at all, though the asam laksa I had was soo spicy :B

Very much a point-formed post cos I gta finish up my History now and prepare to leave house at abt 4 for ROD (: Yes one more year, LOL! I come back another year and I'ld have sent off all my cadets ever (Clarine's sqd). From then on I wldn't know a single cadet in RVNP D:

Righty off to History.
Shall blog abt ROD night if I've the time tonight (:

Just a side note:
If you can't keep your hands to yourself, I don't think you deserve them.
You think?

Some people just never change.
I. Hope. Your. Hands. Rot.

She brings out the evil in me man LOL

Emo Miss Lee

2010-07-27T23:22:00.004+08:00

“Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts.”
– Ruth Gordon

To the negative EQ brainless lass out there, you express astonishment to our remarkable reseults again, I'll see that you lose ALL of your hair, then send you to an Emotional Quotient enrichment course.

No I do not need anger management courses, you stop being a bitch and leave my friend and all of us alone from your shit comments. It is people like you who make it so damn difficult for people to face themselves and work harder and prove ourselves. We don't need you to judge us. If you have so much spare time, go ponder about why you lack common sense.

At this point in time, a vulgarity would fit perfectly. But I shall never use one again. SHOO BITCH SHOO.

Miss Lee talked to us today. Emo talk. I couldn't control myself. Seeing her choking on her words, Idk what else to say. But we all know what we must continue doing, don't we [:

Not a good day

2010-07-26T23:32:00.002+08:00

This is the mood of the day :(((

tired, will sleep soon!

仿佛最失落时心却最勇敢!

2010-07-26T18:56:00.005+08:00

印象派的爱情
艺人：潘嘉丽
作词：姚谦作曲：李盈盈编曲：陈熙

爱绕多少个弯才能有答案
我问过朋友回答都不相同
我把爱当图案拼凑出印象
就算不写实都可以添上感想

莫内画的教堂涂满了夕阳
常玉画的花朵总行只影单
在最浪漫的地方总是会隐藏
别人看不见的小失望

毕卡索的女人总看远方
潘玉良的波斯菊特别倔强

仿佛最失落时心却最勇敢
把渴望画成了阳关

I love this song (:
No one's life can be all that smooth sailing, so don't despair!
Especially to you Toh SY! You are NOT undeserving.

朋友们！We must stand out and fight!

Jiayou, XOXO!

B-)

2010-07-20T00:36:00.002+08:00

Concientiously completed my hypothesis testing revision in schl and came home to diligently research for Ms Lee's mkt failure revision tomorrow, I'm exhausted.

Tmrw's gna be a long day with tuition in the way, yet I have to complete some qns from the revision package for Math lecture, craft my SGC and search for some certifications to back up points, probably have to carry on with AQ of the compre and prepare for Chem tut. How do I cope? Idk, but I'll try [:

Productive day, goodnight!

Good studying, good day

2010-07-17T23:02:00.002+08:00

Simple things were never so beautiful ♥

Not funny

2010-07-15T16:04:00.002+08:00

You need to redefine your definition of a joke.
It wasn't funny
It sent me crashing to hell
I felt really apologetic and blamed myself real bad
My mood dipped to new lows

&you told me it was a joke.

I had thought it was. Till you persisted past one message.
I thought to myself "oh shit" and kept apologising.
Then you told me what?

You were kidding.

I don't have the strongest heart and all my closest friends and family mean everything.
Your joke almost killed me tyvm.
Don't do this again, Please.

Exhausted

2010-07-13T22:23:00.002+08:00

Today's been a long day.
Productive tuition doing Complex, again. Doing tough questions to consolidate our understanding.
Came home to attempt to strike off functions from my Math revision list and FML I've been stuck trying to figure 1 concept out on various qns I eventually decided to stop insisting. I hope to ask Lum tmrw or anytime I can soon.

Tmrw I'll have to complete my FB 3 paragraphs, do my mkt failure and either Grp II from Chem lecture on Friday or some other Math topic. I will perservere.

-determined face-
Though I'm rly exhausted beyond my academic capacity.

I. Am. A. Serious. Girl.

2010-07-08T16:45:00.003+08:00

No Joke!

That (referring to the post title), is the heading of my study plan page I'm gna be a very concientious serious girl from now on. I'm done with Vectors already moving on to Stats and Electro Chem for Chemistry.

I was looking through the NTU prospectuses very seriously yesterday and I find myself interested in Psychology and Liguistics since I really do not wish to go abroad to pursue my initial ideal courses. Now that I think of it, they seem a little too specialised and that limits my career prospects in the future.

I've subconsciously grown so serious I wanted to find out how the coursework maps out in those degrees beyond the list of syllabus, like the lesson format, the mix of electives, how I could possibly have a little of both since I'm more interested in some electives than others, which is a better choice: taking one as a minor or compulsory alternate AHSS discipline's course. Lots of questions. But I'll save them to the weekends or such when I've more time to sit down and find out more. Reading those prospectuses gives me this drive to achieve something and do what I'ld really like to do in future. A few months back I really thought I'ld have to force myself to choose a course I've ZERO interest in since Pre-schooling or Child Psychology aren't offered at degree level locally, but now that I've found something, I've a goal to work towards.

While Sinyee can try working towards a scholarship, you still have time, I don't aim to create miracles. I just wna do well enough to secure my right of choice -inserts assertive face- HAHA!
Serious mouse come liao uh, I'ld study hard and play hard.
I'll keep the July Sentosa date in mind and before it comes, we'll work hard Seow! Hard enough to know we deserve the day's break (:

MINTy fun ;)

2010-07-04T22:37:00.006+08:00

Don't think I should drag my feet on this anymore, promised Seow to put this up since EOOOONS ago but I haven't. Now I've some time and there's no excuse, so here you go darling!

I went to the Mint Museum of Toys with Spencer on 21st May to make up for our 17th May anniversary cos it was an unfortunate weekday and we had our floorball semis. But that sneaky monkey told me on the afternoon itself that he'ld come to watch, dealt me a heart attack but it was a sweet surprise anw (:

Back on track, the museum really has an extensive range of vintage toys and more remarkably, COMPLETE collections. Y'know, for example the crazy McDonald Hello Kitty Dolls, or the gazillion Pokémon figurines my bro used to collect D: Must have been tough sourcing for each and every piece of the collection from all over the world or whichever region the toy originated from :X Here I have pictures of this entire display cabinet of cartoon characters' lunchboxes:

and a whole crazy row of "Matchbox Pocket Money Toys" HAHAH!

All these toy cars came in matchbox packagings, a bit like our capsules don't you think? So cute, haha!

With such a wide range of fascinating toys the museum was really fun to visit! If we were older we'ld all find it more fascinating cos most of the toys there were from long before we were born anw :P But it was cool checking out toys from the past cos they were much more than our plastic figurines, soft toys, guns, squishy children-safe toys and all; lots more creativity and mechanisms at work ;) &There we also found old friends like Popeye, Tintin, Felix the Cat etc! I used to loooove that B/W cat, no idea why, was too young to rmb but I just know I enjoyed watching it while we still could :D

&That's felix (:

Apparently the popularity of poor Felix died down with the arrival of sound cartoons like Disney. And there was some controversy regarding Felix the Cat and Mickey Mouse too, about cats being the natural enemies of mouse and they therefore couldn't coexist blabla LOL! I tought that was pretty ridiculous, but oh well, they're all bygones! So if you're interested to find out more go to the museum! :D

Spencer's a fan of Tintin comics, so while at the Tintin section, he was just like a little kid checking out all the figurines and displays! He could even tell me which were the bad guys, who's Tintin's friend and describe some of the adventures where he met them, HAHA, mad cute! ♥

I especially liked this Tintin in a shark (:

There was quite a lot on Popeye too, nowadays it doesn't come on TV anymore. For the few times I've been on Okto since it replaced Kids Central, lots of cartoons we used to watch as kids are gone too )): I don't see much of Batman as well?? Nowadays those commercials keep ringing "Ben 10!" "Jackie Chan Adventures!" "Teen Titans!" ?! Damn, think I've really aged.

All the popeye characters here were from different series and collections. I found the wind-up tin Pluto one particularly cute though, even though he's the bad egg! Maybe it's cos the colours were so bright and appealing :P &Olivia is as unbearably skinny as ever, HAHA! I've always wondered how her stick-thin body could hold up her fishball head!

Porky Pig :D

Like I said there are toys we're "familiar" with in there too, just that their looks ain't exactly the same, with the exception of Porky Pig, just as fat and silly :P Winnie the Pooh and Mickey Mouse for one looked significantly different! I thought Mickey looked plain but cute, with it's big eyes and slim head, LIKE A REAL MOUSE HAHA! I found this dishevelled looking Donald Duck adorable too! Batman and Robin, on the other hand, didn't look as cool as they do now ROFL! Check out Batman's lao pok car that looked like it'ld hang up on him anytime! And Robin's.... Baby bike? HAHAH! Think it's supposed to be a motorcylce though, so cute :P &official merchandises probably used to be a fad too! The watch-lookalike at the bottom's an "OFFICIAL DIRECTIONAL FINDER" woahwoahWOAH! HAHAHAHA!!! Just a compass la actually!
On top of all that I never knew Astro Boy and Strawberry Shortcake were 前辈! I ALWAYS thought they only emerged after I ceased to habitually watch cartoons :P 不好意思，失礼了啊! Kudos to Astro Boy for staying young all this while and looking the same till today! Multiple thumbs up to Barbie and Strawberry Shortcake for ditching that old look and becoming so much more fashionable and cuter XP

GIGANTIC Combs

There were lots of other collectibles and knick knacks too, like this HUUUUUGE comb for The Beatles. I forgot to use something as a comparison to the size of the combs while taking photos but it's rly mad big LOL! Bigger than my face I think. Reminds me of one of those senseless toys I collected as a kid and got nagged at by mum -inserts Dopey face-
Wondering what a Dopey face is? Fret not, I have a pictorial demonstration for you! :

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
SO CUTE NO JOKE! :P
Dopey's one of the Seven Dwarves, the youngest, cutest, silliest! Whatever Spencer's doing up there's a classic Dopey expression, right beside the authentic Dopey in the display cabinet magnified on the right! But there were ugly Dopeys around here and there in the different series of the Seven Dwarves too. Like the one on the top right-hand corner. I secretly think it's so scary HAHAH! The monkeys at the bottom on the other hand are so adorable. Especially the blur :O one in the middle! LOL!

I also think aesthetic perception of the the past and now differ by quite a bit. Either that, or the workmanship didn't use to be so precise cos of limitations in technology, cos some of the toys weren't exactly what I'ld appreciate as a kid (despite my acceptance of them as antique pieces):

FREAK BEARS! :O

HAHAHA! Alright maybe just not-so-cute bear, not freak yet :P
There are indeed scary toys though, something like this:

"THE CUTE KIDS WITH THE COMICAL EYES AND THE WIG WAG WALK"

LOL!!! That's what's written at the bottom of the box! Well the mechanism for the popping of the eyes and walking sounds very intriguing but I definitely do not want to wake up to such a scare by my bedside, no way! I can't stand looking at it in the eye for 5 seconds, D:

Perhaps 10 years down the road when we go to the Mint Museum of Toys we'ld make more relevance out of the updated displays? Things like Pokémon, Digimon, Powerpuff Girls and Power Rangers? HAHAHA! Yup I don't remember seeing much on Power Rangers! Just a tiny range, eee. Friends I think it's time we started keeping our toys, it'ld be worth good money in future LOL! But then again, our mums would have probably cleared a good big basket of them now that we're all past the age of toys, TOO BAD! :B

Just check out those price tags! Maybe that miniature jackpot machine daddy has in his display cabinet's worth say 10K? HAHA. Or that remote-controlled race car he's been keeping since forever could be worth 5K! -raises eyebrow-
LOL! Just kidding la. He'll kill me for selling his prized possessions :P

There were also other sorts of weird toys and things that looked more like ornaments than something we'ld play with:

HAHAHA, just check out the "DARKIE" toothpaste! Daddy once told me that Darlie used to be Darkie and eventually changed its name due to some controversy about the brand name being racist. I didn't believe him then, now... There's proof!! The dude on the top right-hand corner's a string holder! We came across quite a few from the start and most of them had the hemp coming out from the mouth, then Spencer kept asking why it was all from the mouth. So when he saw this one he burst out laughing and insisted on taking a photo, LOL! &the doll below it in the peanut shell reminds me of the Polly in the Pocket, you know? Like a tiny doll kept in a small casing, HAHA! Such similar ideas!

They also had interesting superheroes, so I assumed from their appearances and posture :P Introducing.....

SuperAnt & HouseFly Ranger! HAHAHAHA!

Other interesting finds include:

Diary of a Whimpy Kid's Grandfather? :P

No idea who this dude(who looks largely unchanged decolourised :P) is, but: "I've set my heart on you!" ;)

If after so much you think most of the toys all look old and antique, far from your liking, DON'T FRET! There are lots of cute and colourful toys too, 100% attention grabbing!

Like the dolly xylophone, it was the first thing I was drawn to when I approached the full length display cabinet :D &I found the freckled kiddo at the top left-hand corner really mischievous and familiar looking! The bucktooth and big nose toys were also very silly to watch, and the goldfish, no joke, looks like something a China kid would love to play with XP

These cute furry animals were also very eye-catching. I found the skiing bear very familiar, like a scene out of teddy bear cartoons we watched as kids duing the Christmas specials or something like that. The other two were so sweet I couldn't help but "awwww..." when I saw them, especially the mummy & baby polar bears (:

These pictures about wrap up our day at the museum. Ofcos I've tons more pictures but putting these up already took me 2 days D: Anw they're the essence and what caught my attention best so I guess it'ld suffice as a summary la right? (:

&One last thing! The day's new found plus-point of a tall boyfriend?
He discovers cute things from the higher shelves I'll tend to oversee ;)

Anw today's the 4th of July, so...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST SPENCER (:

♥

Signing off with one last picture:

Just like an excited boy (:
Each time I see this I feel like going "awwww..." :D

Awaiting sentence...

2010-07-02T15:35:00.002+08:00

Righty, done with last MYE paper yesterday.
Math paper, I didn't think it was that bad considering I decided to forsake studying for Integration and Differential Equations cos I won't be able to do much anw. So yup, over and done with. Time to pick up the pieces and start final revision for As, not long from now.

Whatever it is I definitely didn't do well and wouldn't expect good results this time round. I'll just wait and see, while doing some work yea, PROMISE no joke. While some people still have papers on Tuesday I'll take the time till then to work out a schedule and start work.

I'm feeling quite moody today though. No one's at home again. I'm bored and tired from the exams. I wanted to run but it's been raining since forever. ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
GIVE ME A BREAK )))):

):

2010-06-27T00:08:00.003+08:00

I'm guilty of wasting a lot of time this holidays.
I need to sit down and study after MYEs full-fledged.
When my papers end on Thurday the first thing I'll do is come up with a study plan. From then till Prelims to As.

I shall follow it closely. I shall not feel like I'm doomed like I feel now.
I'm coming back now Econs.

Random musings

2010-06-25T12:17:00.005+08:00

Does all the freak weather imply the world's impending doom? ZZZ
Since when did rain become so monstrous and unenjoyable? It's mad annoying.

Daddy Mummy and bro came back yesterday afternoon.
Mummy asked if I missed them. I said 还好啦!
Actually I missed them alot. I don't get homesick when I'm away. I miss the feeling of a home when I'm alone in the house :X (House ≠ Home)

My sister is really lazy and unautomatic. How now brown cow? It's mad tiring and it neutralises all good thoughts I have of her. Grr. When will she grow up. I can't wait.

I don't need many friends. I don't want a huge social circle of acquaintances, people I can barely keep up a conversation with. I don't need "friends" who'll only come to me when they've a problem. I want friends who'll want to come to me when they need a hand. You know? I still really don't mind listening to anyone. But fair-weather friends are not friends, hope they understand, and not act like they've always treated me well and therefore deserve anything more D: I've only so much. And I don't want to give any Sally Molly and Kelly so much I have so little left for those I really care and love.

I always feel blessed to know I mean something to my friends and family. Little gestures pleasant or unpleasant. Sinyee grumbling about her bad unproductive day, her texts to rant or good news of her good results, Wenyi's random monthsary congratulation text, her consultation in us for what to wear, her texts of resolve to "stand on my own two feet!", Spencer's ultimate randomness and never hides his feelings, his need for his girlf's input or to decide small lil' things for him, his efforts and attention to small details (that I always thought only girls could do), Kevin's surprise "miss you", all his small chats, Lynette's naggy "takecare(s)", both of your offers to go over to your place, Zoe's random "hellos", all you cousins' understanding, mum&dad's jokes maybe even nags, my siblings' annoying disturbs, teasings etc, all of the times friends randomly tell me a silly incident they came across, all the HTHTs, all the care, all that frankness, all the nonsense. If your name's here you mean the world friends. If you are reading this post then you obviously mean a lot too don't be silly! Even if they're darlings out there who don't have access whatever the reason, they would already know.
&yes Wenyi dear, little compliments really go a loooong way. I do agree (:

I'm happy I've you guys.
Because y'all care, whichever way you might have chosen to show it.

Come what may, I'ld like you people as friends and family forever ♥

My nemesis

2010-06-20T15:06:00.006+08:00

I can't emphasise enough how much I hate it when people don't finish their sentences.
If you ain't gna tell the full tale, don't start in the first place.

You know right friends!?

If you're my friend/family you'ld know.
Tis' just something that really gets on my nerves and I can't get over.
I absolutely hate it when people want to share some story or just something random, doesn't even have to be a secret, then they stop halfway through, or decide they don't wna continue when they've barely started -.-

WHAT THING!?

I don't hate you because you do something like that don't get me wrong.
I just hate having to be put through this torture. Com'on la make up your mind. If you don't want to say at all, don't start. PLEASE
You can be anybody hor, but if you do this I'll really get damn annoyed for awhile, and I won't wna talk to you for a good 10mins. No matter how good my temper or mood. If you're my friend, you know. And so don't do this to me.

>:(

Have a break, have a gossip chat ;)

2010-06-18T18:32:00.002+08:00

Kevin Lai has the best family gossips (Y)
Having a whale of a time on Facebook Chat now HAHAHA

Awesome things

2010-06-18T08:45:00.004+08:00

When I earn my own keep I wna sponsor a child. You should too (:

Anw rmb my 40min pau steaming incident? I almost did it again :X
Just this time with a rice dumpling, and I've yet to put it in, leaving the water boiling and evaporating in the pan for 15mins (Y)

I've also just established that my blog doesn't cut off at the bottom in Mozilla Firefox zzz. I thought of just switching over to using MF instead of lao pok IE but I figured I disliked changes. Was still more comfortable with IE and so I'm back. Just know that you could turn to MF for better view yea (:

&Karate Kid is real awsome friends, must catch! (:

Tough life, or not?

2010-06-16T22:28:00.004+08:00

It's funny how life never works out the way you'ld like it to.
It won't be so smooth-sailing, it won't always be joyful, we always get tired of something or some sort along the way. It's annoying no doubt, but would life be meaningful without all these obstacles? If there weren't such annoying pitfalls, maybe the happy times won't feel so great anymore. We'll take it all for granted. &life definitely wouldn't be such a joy (:

Had a great crazy time with Seow and Toh tday, ((:
Hang in there friends! We'll pull through! <3

S-H-A-R-M-A-N !

2010-06-14T12:19:00.003+08:00

Found my name on thinkbabynames.com :D

Happy to see that it exists, yet is uncommon, HEHE
SEOW! You can search more cool baby names up there ;)

ZOOOOO CIP

2010-06-12T21:12:00.005+08:00

HAHAHA, on FB:

Kevin

today your mother damn funny, she said:

Mother: you going to the temple with us?
You: i think i got something on but i cant remember what is it
Mother: ....
You: Oh yah, Zooooo CIP

hahaha

It's hilarious how I say dumb things, don't remember and my mum goes announcing to the whole family, D:

Righty, Yes I'm back from my Zoooo CIP.
Gotta say the experience was marvelous, loved the interaction, Wynne (I can't recall but I think it's spelt like tht) and Benson were nice and funny, kids were adorable, leopard gecko friend was cute MAX (: I never found lizards (or reptiles) cute but this, was really, no joke, cute!

That's the closest looking to our leopard gecko friend I could find (: It's a million times cuter in real life!

&Today I re-established the fact that kids or more often, toddlers, are soft, cutesy and just angels. They can make damn a lot of noise, knock on the gecko's cage repeatedly despite us telling them not to etc and they'll still seem cute in some way at the end of it all, NAWWWWWWWWWW :3

There was a JOWELL, who made me want to name my future son Jowell.
He's a real sweet angel. Not only does he look cute, he has the purest and most receptive heart (:
He was really cooperative during the rock-climbing, and after he was done he came over to check our gecko friend out, and I'm sure he found it damn cute too. Cos he was gone after awhile, only to come back with a Nikon D80, almost as big as his head, to snap a picture of the gecko. (AWW) Well but he soon realised he couldn't shoot anything, why? Cos he forgot to take off th lens cover, and so he scurried away to remove it and return to dad. (AWW)
When he was all ready to shoot the cam gave off a bright light, and we told him "no flash k". But the light (it wasn't flash) just kept shining each time he pressed the shutter. So Benson tried to cover it with his hand each time the silly boy pressed the shutter. After taking a break he tried again and this time he stuck his own finger out to cover the light coming through, (AWWx10) he learnt real fast, and took our words for it!
I guess he failed all those times so he seeked help with his mum, and when both of them came back together he told his mum "no flash (with cute kiddy Jowell voice)" (AWWx100)
But ofcos that light couldn't be turned off nd so the lil' cutie put his own palm against the light to protect our gecko friend (AWWx10000000000)

Jowell's a true kid at his purest, cutest, sweetest, and I hope my children in future could be like that, (: If only all humans could retain a lil' bit of that purity and stay this compassionate even as they grow up. Working with kids never fail to make me appreciate humanity all over again, (:

But well disturbingly contrasting of course, is the management of this event. The staff are anal MAX. Not all ofcos, we've the nice Indian lady and sweet happy June, but friends know who I'm referring to la. And the volunteer welfare is negative, goodness. I'ld come back to help any day but to work under these people, no way. The re-training of service staff ought to start with them. IN URGENT NEED. Always thought zookeepers were nice jolly friendly but I guess I was wrong -.-
Good thing I was out there working with nice fellow volunteers and kids and parents and not these mean ungrateful people, (Y) So good experience still!

I was surfing around for leopard gecko's pictures and I found this!
Spend some time veiwing, it's really cute, destressing too (:

-

Anw, I've great cousins.
Y'all are cool people. Love you LaiLais (:

Cutie Leopard Gecko says "Toodles!" *slurps* ;)

Talk about shared responsibility?

2010-06-10T21:58:00.004+08:00

I didn't wna talk about this, but if I've to act normal I need to vent.
-
Yes you and you cooked your udon, finished your meal, disappeared.
Mum comes along nags abit, who washes the dishes? Me.

Yes we made lunch together, you finished yours, cleared your dishes to the kitchen top (not even the sink -.-), left the house, came back, complained 'bout bro making noise bout the mess, retreats to your room. Then who washes the dishes? Me.

Nice uh, NICE.

Ya you're busy with your games, and you're busy with your CCA.
Or is it talking on the phone, nd writing your love note?
BUSY? Who's busy?

Just because I'll just do it, y'all just let me do it.
(Y) Thanks.

Y'know what? You have secrets, SO DO I.
BYE.

Btw, you locking up your blog doesn't change anything. Cos I don't need to read it to know what's going through you. Else they would've known themselves. If you're afraid we'll have things to say, it means you've done wrong for us to talk about. Grow up alright.

Emo Orange ):

2010-06-07T15:25:00.003+08:00

Hi my (stressed) friends.
Either because you're mugging damn hard or cos you just can't seem to get started.

Here's smth to cheer you up (:

&PLEASE GET STARTED!

(targeted to myself in particular) D:

Unmotivated

2010-06-04T18:16:00.003+08:00

I just did the laundry nd scrubbed the kitchen and balcony floor.
Net time: 1.5hours+/-

I've a day at home, but I rather do chores than sit down and do my math D:
Shows how much studying at home's rly unfeasible for me RAWR

MJC², VJC, Hapy 4th (Y)

2010-05-28T13:29:00.006+08:00

We lost twice to MJ, got thrashed by VJ and eventually came out 4th.
From nothing to fourth, I'm pretty sure RVFBT is a team people will look out for in the following season. For that, I believe we're winners in its truest sense alrd (:

Despite the losses, we fought out best in these 3 matches. We didn't cower in fear, neither did we give up as the score disparity grew annoyingly wide. Good job RVFBT! Truely proud of our spirit and achievements through these 2 years (:

I'm sure you're happy for us :D

Real fighters on court

BANANA ADDICTS :B

&All the other random silly things we do (:

All those times fighting on court,
All the times grumbling about random things,
All the times joking about the silliest things,
All the times doing our own mini-PTs,
All the times nua-ing around,
Love you girls!
Thanks for making my "RVJC" life so colourful!

XOXO! ♥

Photo credits to dedicated Cherie and Zhen Xi, as well as other team mates who've contributed(:
More on our Facebook albums! :D

Blissful

2010-05-23T22:30:00.003+08:00

Had a blissful weekend. (albeit unproductive & hearing all sorts of shit)
Elaborate when I can.

From next week onwards, mug mode on. (Y)
But b4 that all my fb posts nd what not will be up. No worries.

Anyhow, I just realised I lost a pen at the UNAS seminar, BUMMER. ):

Social work

2010-05-16T23:35:00.004+08:00

Had an intense weekend of CIP, helping out at the PAssion run's Race Expo. Reminds myself of how good it feels like to be able to serve and be of help to someone else, however tiring it may be. Nobody ever said only helping the needy was considered social work. I like volunteering. Looking after kids (personal fav.), facilitating an event, helping out for marathons etc. It's always so fulfilling. Possibly why all my dream careers lie along the line of social work.

I thank all my friends who've gone through such fun, meaningful, tiring, rewarding/vexing times with me. I thank all who thank us for doing our job, praise us for doing a good job and show us any form of appreciation (: I love life because of all these little things. No joke.

Tomorrow's gna be my last official floorball match along with all the rest of my year 6 team mates. There's no room for reservations tomorrow. Full speed full force. MJC, you're not gna have an easy time. We're tough, and your cheering squad won't change anything about that. I won't let myself end this with any regret!

Tomorrow's the 17th too, and that marks 365days with the monkey (:
I thank whichever delightful deity or angel for sending such a pleasant addition to my life.
I thank Spencer for having made life so much more enjoyable and worthwhile.
Everything else, you don't have to know ;)

Bye friends, tomorrow WILL be a better day! ♥

This space needs an update

2010-05-13T23:03:00.003+08:00

I used Yahoo! Bable Fish a few seconds ago and tried translating "apple of his eye" to Simplified Chinese. Guess what the translated words were.
"他的眼睛苹果"

NO JOKE HOR. I have evidence!

:O gosh

What a joke. Think those who are learning Chinese and trust such translation websites should reconsider their options, :X

-
Hmm I haven't blogged about the past 2 matches against MJC and VJC.
Will do it over the weekends perhaps.
But we'll be meeting MJ again for the placing match. Gah. We'll fight harder, I'm sure (:

Will be back, hang in ther friends!

GO RV, GO!

2010-05-06T22:31:00.003+08:00

Tmrw's the big day. (:

Found some rather motivational and definitely apt quotes that are really sending my adrenaline level to soaring heights.

Heart in champions has to do with the depth of your motivation and how well your mind and body react to pressure.
-Bill Russell

We don't have to really bring home the title to be champions. We don't even have to win to be champions. But to champion our own fears and outdo ourselves, now that's champion.

Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength.
-Anon

Indeed, sometimes things get a lil' tough and rough, but it never should be enough to keep our fighting spirits back. If we can create miracles once, beyond our wildest imagination, we can do it again.

Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget about everything except what you're going to do now - and do it.
-William Durant

So we'll go out there tomorrow and Just Do It! (:

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.
-Anon

Yes friends, the intimidation and fear we feel today, tomorrow, and even right before we get on court, shall dissipate in shame as our passion and determination burn red hot!
GO RV, GO!

It's about time

2010-05-04T20:34:00.002+08:00

Yoohoo, have a Math test to sit for tomorrow D: Have no idea how much I'm dreading it myself. I don't feel like I really don't wna take it. Neither do I feel remotely confident about it. Am just gna crash on Binom and Poisson, pray to god I'll at least get those right.

Had tuition today, 1st time in.... Don't rmb how long. Can't say it's something I've imagined it to be, but I guess it isn't too bad. Hope it helps us all in the long run. [:

GP test today was alright. Loads of big words but seeing through them, the underlying message of the text was pretty clear. But I've to stop letting summary get in my way. I always waste too much time on it, no matter how fast I would have finished my short questions, GAH.

Bunch of random thoughts since 4H outing yesterday. I figured I've had enough fun and will waste no more time deliberating about what to study, cos I'll just start on smth or I never will. I kinda love doing Math now. So I'll just take studying for the test tomorrow as a motivation to kick start this whole studying momentum. Not gna be easy. But I think I shouldn't allow myself to use tournament as an excuse to cut myself slack liaoooooo. BUCK UP YOU MOUSE.

&BTW it's getting increasingly tiring to come to school. No idea why. Weather, lessons, nearing exams, everything. Increasingly annoying to hear my inner soul and everyone else rambling bout life as well. Guess it's just a bad period for all. Good luck, have fun, no suicidal thoughts friends.